One of the great frustrations in life for many of us is the fact that we are hard-working, considerate, “good” people but yet we seem to not feel that we have the honest reward for our efforts. Simply put, we are doing everything right, but we still do not have the results that we deserve. For example, I frequently work with wonderful, attractive women who date men that refuse to be good partners. I also counsel hard working professionals who are not treated well at work or do not get the promotions or other opportunities that they clearly deserve.
These issues can be solved. I know because help people solve them all the time. There are a few steps that can be taken to help put our lives on track when we find ourselves in these situations. These are not especially difficult, but as we all know, problems are usually best solved when addressed directly.
First, clearly define, to yourself, what you need and deserve. For example, we all deserve to have happy relationships. If you are with someone that is not being a good partner, then look at the situation directly. Simply put, you deserve better and you should not accept anything less. If you are not being treated well at work, remind yourself that you are professional and hard-working and you deserve to be treated as such. Even if there is not an easy fix for the problem, understanding it is crucial.
Second, do not hesitate to expect from others what you expect from yourself. If you work hard to be loving and supportive, then that is what your partner needs to give you. Working hard and doing your job well means that your employer and co-workers should treat you accordingly. At the heart of this idea is, of course, insisting on being respected.
Finally, every day you need to remind yourself that you are important, and you deserve to be happy. This may seem like a very simple, almost patronizing idea, but it is an important ritual that each of us should perform. If you say it out loud every morning, and again before you go to bed, the idea will help guide your day. Remember that the first step in not getting what you deserve, is forgetting that you deserve it.
Best wishes everyone! Remember that I am always here to help you!
Nicky
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