“She asked me too many questions!”
“She wouldn’t tell me what I should do!”
“I felt like I was answering my own question!”
Too many of us readers will shake our heads in recognition of these all too familiar attacks on readers of all varieties. For many the notion that they would have to make their own decisions or that they were not speaking to a Ms. Cleo’esque’ reader seems positively absurd. For me, however, when I see those comments left in the ratings of my colleagues I feel a sense of pride for that reader.
We live in a culture where readings have nearly become parodies of themselves with people wooing not because of their genuine ability but for their theatrics. It’s deemed more genuine to be told a time frame that may or may not be genuine or to be told what to do with their lives. Claims of 99.8975% accuracy or that they can ‘guarantee your lover returns’ may sound impressive but the likelihood of it being accurate is slim and next to none. Unfortunately none of us are perfect and if someone is claiming such otherworldly feats of accomplishment its clear they are not being totally honest. If they are not honest about themselves what makes you believe they will be accurate/truthful about your situation?
To see people rated poorly because they happened to ask a question or guide and not lead a client tells me that reader is a departure from the fairytale culture of readings. Readings are meant to be empowering for the client; to give back the power of their life to the client. As a reader is not my job to lead the client but follow them. In Transformative Tarot & Intuitive Counseling the goal is to create a dialogue about what the client is going through and how to best assist them. To help them to see they have the ability to change their situation and make decisions which befit them. To have them participate in their reading leads to solvency and hands the responsibility of their life back to them.
It’s good for business when you follow a purely predictive form of reading because it enables the client and keeps them coming back over and over again as they cycle through their typical pattern of behavior. It is not, however, good for the client or their lives. When a reading is viewed only through the lens of “tell me what is next” or “prove you are real” nothing is learned that provides the client with solvency to their patterns. Instead they become dependent on knowing what is next and pay little to no attention on what or why or how.
My clients come to me not because I am perfect but because I am real. If they have a question I cannot answer, they know it rather than receive some trumped up half-truth based mostly on supposition. When they receive an answer from me they know they can trust it and they know too that I am not here to just hand out predictions; I am here to help guide them away from the patterns of behavior and decisions which have created the situation. Those who follow a similar reading paradigm as me understand that telling someone what is ahead only does so much. Knowing that tomorrow I may hear from my beloved is great. It does nothing; however, for helping me to avert the patterns that kept him out of contact or that has me opening the door despite being treated poorly and left wanting.
I have said over and over again that readings should be more than just prediction. Readings should provide the client with a safe and comfortable place where they feel capable of understanding what is ahead and also what they can do about it. It should be a conversation between two people, not some circus gypsy act. Readers: have ratings that tear you apart because you dared to ask a question or to expect the client to take some responsibility for their life? Wear it like a badge of honor, it means that you genuinely tried to help them. While they may not have been prepared for that help at that moment they will someday and until then focus in on the right clients finding their way to you. Let’s face it there will always be those who are willing to put on a show for the sake of appearing more authentic—those who find that offers them little help will be sure to find their way over to you. Our goal is to help, to empower and to enlighten and those who desire that transformative experience will find their way to us.