Unconditional Love: How To Give It & Know If It's Healthy

Unconditional love is a weighty term for something that most of us don't really understand. In my work as a marriage therapist, I've found it's often used to express a type of love that exists beyond bounds. And because of this, it often creates a justification for staying in unhealthy dynamics.

What is unconditional love?

The term unconditional love does not mean love without limits or bounds. It means, "I offer you my love freely without condition." This means that when we offer our love, we offer it without expectation of repayment. It is important to offer this type of unconditional love in our relationships. Otherwise, we are offering love with "strings attached." This creates power and control imbalances.

Unconditional love means loving someone through hardships, mistakes, and frustrations. In fact, it is what every meaningful, lasting relationship is made of. When we enter relationships with other people, we are entering relationships with another human being—a person full of quirks and flaws and challenges. And we also show our own quirks and flaws and challenges. One of the most beautiful experiences in human life is learning to lean into the tension of those challenges by offering connection, love, and understanding and by accepting influence, creating compromise, and moving forward in a way in which both people win.
What conditional love looks like.

We often think of parents' love for their children as unconditional love (i.e., a parent often loves their child no matter what). In truth, we do at times see this type of "strings attached" love presented in parent-child relationships just as readily as it might be in a romantic relationship. A parent provides a certain amount of love to their child and expects some sort of return on their investment.

This "conditional love" might sound like:

"I always gave you so much love, and this is the thanks I get?"
"Your father and I wanted you to become a doctor. We did everything for you, and now we are disappointed with your choice to be an artist."
"I cannot believe that is who you are marrying! I would think you'd respect me more than that after all of the love I gave you."

In the above examples, the parent is not offering unconditional love; rather, they are offering love that is contingent on the child fulfilling certain conditions. There is a ledger, and the child owes a debt. This makes for a very unhappy and disconnected relationship, or even a toxic family relationship.

Is unconditional love healthy?

It is healthy to offer your love without strings attached. Otherwise, we are not truly loving the other person. Rather, we are using affection as a tool to control.

It is not healthy to offer love without boundaries.

Our relationships require basic expectations to be fulfilled—kindness, respect, and safety. When these are not fulfilled, we might have to set hard boundaries. These boundaries might look like distancing oneself or cutting off entirely. If you do cut off, it does not mean that you offered your love with conditions. Remember, your love did not make them indebted to you. They do not owe you anything. But you do owe yourself safety, respect, and kindness. You can walk away from people that you've loved very much in order to take care of your own needs and safety.
The problem with love without boundaries.

Love without boundaries can lead to unhappiness at least and abuse at worst. If we do not let our partners, parents, children, and friends know where we stand in terms of how we expect and need to be treated, then we will not have an equal voice in the relationship.

Sometimes, we ignore these needs for boundaries in the name of "unconditional love." However, in those moments, we are not offering unconditional love. We are offering codependent love. In codependent relationships, we are so set on maintaining the dynamics in the relationships that we excuse or enable unacceptable behavior. Again, this leads us to a place of unbalanced power and control rather than into a place of truly connected love in which we offer each person an opportunity to be responsible for their behavior with us.

There's a distinct line between loving someone through the hardships vs. accepting unacceptable behavior. The latter becomes apparent when the relationship is no longer offering the basic needs of a relationship. If someone has harmed you and they are not willing to repair it, then you need to set a limit for your own well-being. If you find that the relationship has devolved into behavior that lacks kindness and respect, then it's likely that a boundary needs to be set. This is especially true if you have tried to communicate clearly and still see no change. If you are enabling the person in a way that negatively affects your well-being, that isn't unconditional love—it's unhealthy, codependent love.

Unconditional love still involves healthy boundaries.

While we can offer unconditional love to others (even when they are being difficult), we don't have to offer love without bounds. You can offer love that has no strings attached while still having boundaries.

Unconditional love with healthy boundaries might look like:

"I love you and support you no matter what. However, we no longer have the finances to help you with your bills."
"I love you, and I have to take space from you when you speak to me that way."

Unconditional love is not a binding contract.

Unconditional love gets muddied when we believe that we have to continually offer that love even when basic relational expectations are no longer being fulfilled. Unconditional love means "right now, I offer you this love, and you are not indebted to me." It does not mean "I offer you this love, exactly in this way, forever, even if you start to harm me."

For example, let's take a healthy relationship in which a couple is offering each other the basic and necessary expectations in a relationship—kindness, respect, and safety. And then, that changes—one person goes through something and begins to treat their partner with disrespect or cruelty. When that changes, you can choose to put boundaries in place or distance yourself. This doesn't mean your love hasn't been unconditional. In this case, you offered your love freely as long as you could, and then in the moment you needed to care for yourself, you set healthy boundaries.

Unconditional love means offering love without conditions in that moment. It does not necessarily mean forever. It means, "The love I am giving you right now is yours to keep. I am doing it of my own free will. You owe me nothing in return." When we love this way, we are offering true love—the type of love that allows others to be who they are. It also is the type of love that allows us to continually reassess the relationship and decide, over time, if it is still working for us and if we are still able to give our love so freely.

How to love someone unconditionally.

The word unconditional can sometimes create confusion or lead us to place unrealistic expectations on ourselves and the way we love. If it's easier, consider instead the idea of wholehearted love. Wholehearted loving means leaning into the vulnerability of offering our love because we want to offer it. Offering our love in this way means that we give it because it feels good to give it and not because we expect a particular outcome. Wholehearted love also acknowledges and prioritizes the wholeness of both the people. To give wholehearted love, you must love your partner and yourself wholly.

You will know it is wholehearted love when both people are willing to enter with their whole heart. When each person has a voice. When challenges are reflected upon. When growth happens. When there is no scoreboard because you are on the same team and not on opposing teams.

You will know it is not wholehearted love if there are strings attached, debts owed, and boundaries violated. You will especially know when you find that the basic expectations of love, kindness, and safety are not being respected.

If you're wondering what that kind of love looks like in practice, here are a few ways to love wholeheartedly:

Pay attention to your offerings of love. Are you expecting a certain reaction? Are you offering it to receive something now or later? Has the person become indebted to you? Push yourself to offer love just because.

Learn to accept and value influence. Wholehearted loving means that we believe our partner, child, friend, or parent has something of value to think, feel, or share. Work toward being influenced by them.

Be transparent. Offer transparency in your interactions. Let people know what you expect. Allow people the opportunity to be successful for you.

Learn to listen. Being a good listener is a lot more than "hearing"—it means that you truly integrate what the person is saying and show curiosity toward learning more.

Notice the dynamics of control and nip them in the bud. Pay attention to the dynamics of control in your relationship. When you get into tension, is there an underlying motive? Are your conflicts the result of unstated needs?"

Gods Grace, Peace, Mercy, Love & Abundance Be Upon All Your Days I Pray!
Faery Sprinkles
Lavonda`

This is a bit of a long read but it will help you in so many ways to find out where you are in your relationship, What Stage Of Your relationship Are you In, And how You can fix your relationship if broken or make your relationship even better if it is not broken

VIRTUAL RELATIONSHIPS JUST ADDED CLICK HERE

Below you will find all my relationship stages

"RELATIONSHIP STAGES"

I have updated this post (Oct 01 2020) a bit and added a new stage that has become more prevalent in my readings as of late. It's called the "Virtual Relationship Phase". It can be found at the bottom of the stages portion of this post. You must read this. Trust me it is very important This post is all about moving forward. I did not say moving on, I did not say forgetting the past yet, this post has been very popular because this is post can apply to just about everyone. Each and everyone of my family of clients can get some help from reading this post. I was asked by many of my clients to write something inspirational, write something to help them move on, to help them make things better so I have decided to write this, something for just about every situation that will help you I hope.

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Now before I begin I want to say that every situation, every reading, every call I get is different. many of you at this time are in fabulous relationships and do not need to change anything, some of you are at the end of a relationship and are having trouble moving forward, many are still holding on and waiting for the other person to change and many of you are working on your relationships or marriages and trying to make things better, so please this is a general post meant for everyone but does not necessarily apply directly to you. If you want too know about your situation or relationship, and want to know exactly what to do at this time, then the best thing to do is call me for a reading, find out exactly what is happening at this time and what is likely to happen given the fact that you do nothing, and then ask me for advice on what you need to do to either make things better if needed, or if possible, and to then use that advice to make yourself happy, to whatever is needed to make you feel better, to make your life better. This is about you and your feelings, not about another, not about the relationship or marriage, it is all about what you need to do to make you feel better, to make your life better, to put you on the right path that will lead you to pure happiness. You must understand that if you are not happy now then nothing is going to work. If you are not in a relationship now and you are not happy yourself then please do not think that you can just find someone to put in your life that is going to change everything and make you happy. You cant replace happiness with anyone, you can however make yourself happy and that will allow karma to make changes start to happen in your life that will lead you to another, because we as humans are really not meant to be alone. I say this with very special exceptions. In general we are meant to share our lives with another. Humans have done that since the beginning of time. It is a genetic thing. What is a relationship? A relationship, a real committed relationship, is two people who combine their individual lives into one life, each person puts the other before them, and they become one. Yes, that is a very simple explanation but again in general that is what I consider a real relationship. Feelings for another person, strong feelings that you may call love, or in love,

 I try myself not to use that word because love or in love means different things to different people so in my readings i say strong feelings or very strong feelings and try to explain or convey to you the level of those feeling that another person may have for you. here is one big problem that so many people need to understand.
Just because someone has very strong feelings for you or even loves you and professes that love for you does not necessarily mean that that person wants, or can at this time enter into a committed relationship. I can not even begin to tell you how many times someone has said to me "if he or she loves me, or has the same feelings for me that I have for them, then why don’t they want to be with me, why do they not want to be in a committed relationship with me." I hear this so much and the problem is that just because another person cares for you, has very strong feelings for you, does not mean that that he or she wants to be, or as the ability to be in a relationship with you. This is a dilemma. It is normal to think that one goes hand in hand with another but it just does not, and this is more so for men than women. Most women if they have strong feelings for a man will naturally want to be and assume the other wants to be with them, wants to be in a strong committed relationship, and wants to give up his singular life and combine his life with hers. This is so not true in many cases. This is what I will explain next. This is so important so read it well and even twice if needed.

Men are indeed allot different than women, especially in this circumstance. A man may have huge feelings for you, even as you may say loves you but for a variety of reasons he can't or is not ready to combine his life with yours. This may come from many different reasons such as bad past experiences in a marriage or long term relationship and he is scared, he may not want to ruin what he thinks is a perfect situation, he may feel he is not ready because of financial reasons. Men do want to know that they can take care of the women he is with. A man may just not be ready, he may not be as far into the feelings as you are or even as far as he says he is.

This is where a reading comes in, you must not push a man too fast, you need to now where he is and what pace he is on, if you push too hard he will back off, if you do not push sometimes you will never get anywhere and that is what a psychic reading will help you with. I will be able to tell you where he is, if he needs a push, if he needs space, if he is ready, or not and if not when. I also sometimes have to say never or at least answer that question by saying not anytime in the near future and believe me that is very hard. I know people do not want to hear that in some cases. Many people want the fairytale story, I do not do that. I answer honestly and accurately so that you can make the right choices and the right moves that are good for you. Yes good for you and keep that in mind as you read this because this article I am writing for my clients is all about their happiness and that is what each and everyone of you need to understand, your happiness comes first, it is the only way to make things work. You must be happy first with yourself, your life and other things before you can putt another person in your life. If you are not happy alone than you are not going to be able to successfully have another person in your life. You cant replace self happiness by just having another person in your life you must make yourself and your life happy first. I am going to talk about those things next and the steps you may need to take to make yourself happy first but before I do that I want to say this.

The Next Group Of Situations:

Above we spoke about situations that are what I call above all hope. They are either done, or finished or over or whatever word you want to describe. You at those points are over it as well and have decided or realized that that person is not going to be in your life any longer so you are starting fresh and moving on to the next. bellow we will talk about situations that you still want to try to fix, regardless of whether I read them as fixable or not. Remember, my job as your psychic is to try to help you get what you want. Yes I will tell you if I read them and feel that it is over but if you have not reached the point of moving on yet or cant and still want to try then of course I will also try everything to help you. In these cases you fall into these groups or in between these groups sometimes. Remember every situation is different and that is why you call me and do not read a book or rely solely on something like this that you are reading now. Nothing can substitute a real reading and real advice based on the now. Things change, readings change, and you can make changes that will effect the outcome of readings and situations. That is the good part. You can in many cases change things that you do, ways you act and react, use my "Spiritual Focus Lessons" and other things to try and make things work. Many people can change the way the relationship they are in is working. Try not to just call me after it is to late, if you feel a problem fix it before it becomes irreparable or almost irreparable. This is your life and is certainly worth the price of a real reading, not a fairytale reading where someone just says it will all be ok in this amount of time, but a real reading where you know what the other person is thinking and feelings about you, your relationship and a very big thing I call intent. Intent is everything and I will get to that shortly. Now here we go the next groupings of situations.

Stalled: In A Relationship: That's Stalled Or He Is Not Going To The Next Level

Stalled is one of my favorites because it is sometimes very easy to fix, this is as long as the person that I am reading is willing to understand and embrace what I have said about how that person they are asking about is thinking and feeling about them and the relationship or situation. You can be in a relationship that has slowed, you can even be just dating, it can also be a long marriage or a jumped in too fast type scenario, but stalled is stalled. It simply means that nothing is progressing, moving ahead, or possible slipping things are slipping away. Good hint here, try to call me before things go past slipping away. The faster I can read the others thoughts and feeling and explain them to you so that you can understand them, remember in many cases most, men read different than women. That is to say that a women mind has more going on at one time than most men. Because it is so simple, it makes it harder for women to sometimes understand, for me being a male psychic I see it very quickly and I am usually dead on. I think simple as well and I can translate to you the real situation the real problem that is causing you to feel what you are feeling. The why is he acting this way question is one I want more often. Once you know the why of why he is not moving ahead as much or in any, the why he has slowed down on his contact with you and many other things, once  you know the why than you can address it. You can decide to throw it in, make a few small changes, sometimes even a big one, allow some more time, fix something that was going on before that is not. Many little things most cases can help fix this.
Now there are cases where someone has what I call "Hit The Wall". This where he or she can just not go any further at this time. This is the point where you decide based on what I have told you and any advice you ask for have to choose to roll  the dice. This mean be prepared to allow the other to stall and have more patience, and change things up a bit as well, or you can choose to just say you have tried everything to make this work and you can't invest the time you want more than this. This is a huge decision at a huge time, lots of factors come into play here so you are really going to want to know  what he is really thinking about. Do not guess, I repeat , do not guess. Love and I use that word here although not so much in my readings but for this portion, I am going to say that love is the most important thing in the world. You do not want to lose it, or miss it, or let it slip away. If there is a way you must try to get there. I am a hopeful romantic and believe love need you to give it your all. That mean's try your best, know when your next love is ahead of you, know that no matter what happens at the end, or at the beginning, you know in our heart that you tried everything, gave it the best you could, put enough time in in, not waiting time but effort time, so that you can always look back and have no regrets and know you are now on the right path. It may be the right path with that person, or a path towards another but you will know that the choice you made was the only choice you could make. I can help you understand where you are, where it is going at this time, and what you can do to try to make it work if you have already not tried everything, however if It's a matter of being able to wait no longer, or you have tried everything, than that my dear clients is KARMA telling you it is time to move along so that the real Prince Charming, or Cinderella, can be put on your new path. One thing I can tell you is that there are many soul mates for each of us running around the whole world. Many not tens but hundreds maybe thousands and depending on your situation you have found one of them or they have found you, or the right soul mate is ahead of you not behind you, or even another soul mate, sometimes after being in a great relationship or marriage with THE PRINCE or PRINCEESS is just over. It ran its course. You see there are so many different variations of problems each and everyone of us has that you really have to invest the time to get the truth's, try not to wait till it is over to call me, and if it is over, than please call me so I can confirm and make sure and than help you get on a new predictive path that will allow Karma to put a New person in your path and start you on a whole new life if needed.

Now the We Just Had a Big Fight category, this is so important, first thing you must not do is let time go by, if I could tell you how many great relationships or could be great relationships went south because of a fight where there was what I call a "Standoff", you would never believe me. If you just had that Big Fight, ask yourself how common they are, if they  are common and happen a lot, but you always work it out, that's fine, yes you need to call me to fix that but you do not need to call me that moment. But yes you need too fix common fighting fast before it gets too bad and creates more problems. I can help you with that and quickly so take some time to call and get some understanding of why you are having the common fights and let’s see what the other thinks and if needed just ask and I can give you a fix, those are solved once you know the cause. If you say to yourself, we don't fight mush, this is way bad, it is not normal, than you need to grab your phone and call me right away. Do not let this fester. This fight may be the small infection that turns the whole relationship into gang green. Do not wait to see who calls who. I tell you all this, it does not ever matter who calls who first and the more you wait the more you hurt things, i tell this to my male clients and my female clients. This is not a way to win ground, get your point across or anything like that. This is simple find out where his head is at, and what caused this by calling me first. Get some inside information and ask me for some male advice or what I see him doing if you do this, or if you do that, and then get this fight behind you and hope this isn’t the fight that he or she caused to end this, because that happens so do not think that fights here and there and every which where do not make a difference. It is not the fights it is the problems that need to be understood and hopefully fixed. If you really cant afford to call me you all should know that you can email me anytime, I never charge for emails and I will try to help you that way, but if you can afford a reading call me, it is priceless, the call that is. You cant put a value on a relationship. A psychic reading should be about information and help. Calling someone who is just going to give you a fairytale story may make you feel better for a moment, but it is not going to allow you to understand the problem so you can fix it. I seem too in many cases be the last call for people. they call me and get this real, honest, truthful reading that helps, and then they look back at all the other readings they had and realize that it dint really help them. My family of clients have been sent to me by karma, I love each and everyone of you so very much. You are my family and I want nothing more to allow you to find true happiness in the fastest possible path. I tell you the truth so you can do so. I know in some cases you do not like what you hear, but you know it is the truth. I take my gifts very seriously and know that what I read for them changes their lives, that is responsibility and I make sure to tell only what I see clearly. I am very honest. I will tell you if there is any way possible, I will tell you if there is not. You can rest assured in knowing that I want true love first and always as I have said above think of that as number one goal of clients. So for just broke up and Had a big fight remember this, it does not mean it is over, do not let it go too far, do not just wait for something to change or for you to get that first call. Actions in your present help make up your future in a very large way. Your true future is not written in stone, there are many predictive paths and you choose the ones you take and the ones you either get off of and onto another or you stay on and make the path clean and clear. Some of these end all fights or breakups are his or her way of telling you that there is a problem. They repeat or get to a bad point because you are not understand the other person. Let me help you understand. just do not let this make or break you, even if you do not call or email me remember this. This could be the last fight, but most certainly does not have to be, you are making a choice by either doing nothing or by doing something, always choose the something. In the long run, even blind, even  without knowing what is going on with the other person, you are still better to act than not to do anything. Yes I would rather you call me and get informed, get that inside information that they are trying to get you to understand, but if not I have found that doing something works much better than nothing. Sometimes waiting is the thing to do, but more likely is the action you make to help things get back to normal and then fix that. It hurts to be away from someone who is also wanting to be with you. Keep that in mind also it comes up quite a bit in my readings.

On the Way Out, ugh... This are painful reads for me because I do feel your feelings when we are engaged in a reading, after for a while as well, and this situation no matter what always hurts. No way around it but time. Time, very important word here. This is not something I can give many clear example of that happen in common sometimes because each situation is different. The marriage may have just run it's course. yes sometimes after being with someone for a very long time you both want a second life, or one of you does. then on the other hand it could just be something that can be fixed based on just a few things he or she is missing in the marriage. if you want out and you feel it is over you need to move on it. If you have already decided that you want out than eventually you will be out so why wait and make things worse or more painful. Make sure you have thought it through, but if you are sure than you need to just go. Start fresh now, because if you really know, why wait. Why hurt another, why hurt you, why waste time.
If you have someone in your life that wants out and you do not, then we first have to look to see if that person has already made up their mind. If they have, just like you might, then only in very small cases can thing be made better, or better for good anyway, for the long term. If you are not sure, still thinking things out,
then make sure you call me, get some inside info so that you can make the right decision. This goes for many men that call me and for many women as well.
This is big stuff here people make sure you know what you are doing, what you want, but this is where action one way or another needs to take place. The waiting game no matter what end of this you are on, it could be you leaving him, him leaving you, does not matter, this is big stuff so make sure you know what you are doing and than do it.

Just Not Sure. Depending on how long you have just not been that sure for make all the difference. The basic advice I can give you here is just to realize that you want those fireworks in the beginning, they almost never come later, make sure you have those feeling first, take your time, but in your heart you will know and when you need confirmation, when you need some inside info to make things go better, I am here. If your having trouble getting started in a relationship, or meeting new people, there are problems but there are answers. The above are some basics, not everything can apply to every or any situations you may be having. Each person I read is different, unique, has a specific set of things they want to know about and relationships in general vary very much on the little things and the problem is that little things count. They add up to big things. Big things, well not so good.

UPDATED "The Virtual Relationship Phase"

This one is going to get a full post of it's own but for the many people who refer to this post over and over again and the almost 10.000 plus reads it has had, I felt I just had to add something here, but look for my next post on this subject for even more help with this amazing new relationship type.

I call it amazing because I have become shocked at how many people are in what I call a Virtual relationship. I define that by two people who do not see each other ever, or very often, and only communicate via text, phone, or internet of some type.

The internet and those sites that help pair people together are very important especially when most people are too busy to go out and look for another to be in their lives. It helps get to know many people, and get through the toads and on to your prince faster. when used properly the internet and those sites, Some of those sites!!!!!. I also say properly used but that's for the longer post.

The problem is that many people are now not just using it to meet a person they are using it to have full blow relationships. Relationships that are solely or mostly through virtual communication. You must be able to hold in your arm's a person if you want to ever be in a "Real Relationship". By the way a real relationship, I define that as two people, together, in real life, working there way toward a possible "Forever Together" real life situation. Not all relationships are exactly this but most are. If you let this internet fantasy life get too much a hold on you it can bbe dangerous. It is ok to get to know the person on-line, it is okay to meet online, it is good to get to know a bit about the other person first before seeing them, but there is a limit on how long you should do this before seeing them, and how far, especially a man's feelings can grow via virtual. women seem to be able to grow feelings very quickly with others on-line the compared to men. Men well we get to a point where our feelings plateau. We need that in person connection to grow our feelings past a certain point. Women on the other hand based on many readings seem to be able to continue to grow their feelings, and can even feel like they are in a "Real Relationship" even if they can't or do not see the person in real life. Maybe they have seen them once, or see them every 6 months, but even that is not enough to get to the point where it is a real relationship. In part it is because men do stop growing feelings and never get to the intentions part of their thought process with just on-line. If you are falling for someone on-line, long distance and virtual only be careful. You need to make some changes now, you may be able to control this and make it a real relationship. You need some help we all do. This is where I have the inside information from the other persons mind, his thoughts, feelings, intentions, that you need. When you know where he is versus where you are, and you know what can or can not be done, this will allow you to chart the best course for you.

Like I wrote, this is such a complex stage of relationship, almost its own type of relationship that I am going to need to write a full on this. If you are in this type of relationship call me for a reading. I can help. I can tell you if your wasting time, or help you make things better, explain how a man thinks and our feelings grow. They do grow differently for men than for women. We think and act differently. we are not as good as women. Women are more complex especially when it comes to thinking about relationships, working with feelings and intentions. I can help interpret men for you and help guide you through these stages. I will post another update to this post when my new post on virtual relationships come out, but until then I am just a call or chat away

Don't Hold Back

You know I really tried to write something here that would maybe help everyone a small bit. It is not meant to tell you about your specific situation, it more of my way of telling you what I get on the average more of than other questions and the easy solutions that sometimes there are. I wanted to really stress a bit about moving on because moving on or as I say moving forward can sometimes even lead you back to the person you wanted in the first place, but it will always lead you on to better and happier things. Maybe now you say no way, but I have had too many clients call me up and tell me after a while that they are so happy, have someone new, someone way better, getting married or engaged, and I love that because at one point they were so miserable, so unhappy, and never thought they would be happy again. They let me help them, they took my readings, use the info, took my advice, used that, and now they are happy. This is why I can tell people 100% honest answers. Because I know that if you do that, then you will make people happy and help them. Helping people is why I read on keen. My clients are my family and I will always be on your side, help you with what you want, regardless of anything. you can tell me anything you want without any judgment ever. Say any word you want to use, I understand. Do not hold back your thoughts, vibrations, or feelings about anything when you call me for a reading because the more you open up the better I can read you and the people you ask about through you.

I want to take this opportunity to thank each and everyone of my family of clients for calling me, allowing me to read for you, and help you. remember you can email me anytime, I do not charge ever. If you called me just once 6 months ago you can  still email me and ask me about something. My clients can email me 5 times a day if they want. I love you all so very much. I guess from the amount of relationships I have helped with and the accuracy of my reading, my specialty is romance readings, my clients even gave me that nick name "THE ROMANCE PSYCHIC", but I do want to say that read very well on dream interpretations, financial outlook, job situations, other world connections. Yes I do some medium work if asked by a clients although it takes so much out of me I do not want many of those readings.
I do great Tarot Card readings, that are very much different than my normal readings. More like a fortune telling that is accurate and I pick up many strange and different things during my Tarot Readings. I ask you to email me at least a day before you want a Tarot Card readings so I can make sure my Tarot deck is available, that I prepare myself and have you meditate before the reading so that I can give you the best tarot Reading possible. My Tarot Card reading are different, I read them as they are meant to be read leaving what I pick up with my gifts out of the reading. Use me when you need me or want me, but remember, I am the one who will always give you the truth.

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Something you should read about predictions and how you can change them

PREDICTIVE PATHWAYS HOW TO CHANGE YOUR FUTURE

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Manifest Your Relationship Future. Learn how to open up new predictive pathways. What that means is basically how you can and do make your future or possible futures by what you do in the present. Change your life for the better right now. take a moment and enlighten yourself. Read my post below and see my special offer.

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Right now you are on a path, it has a predictable future, for the short term anyway.
A good psychic can predict what your future is going to be looking down the road on a particular situation for the next few months. A good psychic if they are clairvoyant can do even more by reading the thoughts feelings and intentions of others that you ask about and can predict what they are or are not going to do for an even longer period of time, much longer. This is the way I read, you ask me about a person or situation and I can tell you based on your current path what is going to happen in the near future.

By reading the thoughts, feelings, and especially the intentions of others I can increase the length of the prediction allowing you to understand why you are getting that prediction and allow you, if possible to, change or alter that prediction. In other words change or alter the future or allow you to open new futures or new predictive pathways.

What nobody can do with great accuracy is tell you what is going to happen in your life years from now. No I can not tell you what the name of the man you will eventually marry will be and when. I can however tell you based on your current path if you are going to continue to be with the person you are seeing or if you will be in a long term relationship with them based on the feelings and thoughts they have in their minds at that time. Most important this includes their intention. What they intend to do with you and your relationship.

I can also tell you what is likely to happen based on your path, which is really what you do now in the present without any major changes, the pattern of what you do now and your general direction, thought process, and your habits. That's your predictive path your future. If you change nothing, if you do not let a reading from another influence you to do anything different, and that includes my reading as well, then the prediction will be as said.

When I read for you, your predictive path, your future, it is pretty much right there for me to see with my gifts. Such as yes you are going to be in a long term relationship with this person, yes you are going to get that job or you will find a job in the next amount of time. Yes this person is going to come back to you, yes your guy is going to want to see more of you and want more from the relationship. If you keep doing what you are doing on your predictive path, your future, your short to medium term future, is pretty much written in stone. same goes for the negatives of this such as no he is not going to continue the relationship, or no he is not going to come back, or no that job is not going to be the job you get. Great thing is that we control and make our future by what we do in the present. So keep reading please.

The problem is we change things all the time. If you are what I call on track or in the groove and you are doing everything in the right manner in order to reach your goal or to be where you want to be than your all set, but most people need to adjust some things to get into that groove or perfect path as I call it. 

For example if your with the person you want  to be with and I read him and see that he also wants to be with you I would most likely tell you not to change one thing. Just continue as is. If however you do not like the prediction or outcome of the reading and the path you are on, or it is not want you want, or if the person is not going to want to continue the relationship, not going to come back, or if I do not see you getting that job  than you will need to change the path your on in order to achieve your goal. That is if that goal is achievable to begin with. If someone wont or cant do something you want you can not change his or her free will. If they just cant be in a relationship, or if that job is just not in your reach as far as your abilities than you cant change that. 

In many cases you can however change your path, your actions, your goals and things that you are doing in order to influence his or her feelings, thoughts, intentions, and yes their actions. In so many cases when I get a reading, I see what is happening and wish that person called me sooner so I could have helped them adjust their path before everything fell apart. So do not wait until things are so broken that they can not be fixed before calling me for a reading.

I am writing this mainly so that you can understand how your life works, how predictions can be very accurate and how they can be changed if needed. The most important thing I want to get across to everyone is written in the next paragraph.

Your life is not already written, there is no tape of your life, no destiny that cant be changed or not many definitive predictions that can not be changed or altered . In other words your future is not written in stone, you make your life as you do things in your life. You make your future by what you do in the present. This is actually great because now you can understand that all is possible, all you can control anyway. Yes you have such a huge amount of control over your life, your life path, your future.

Your predictive path or pathways. Pathways? hold on, that's plural isn't it. Yes it is and it is possible to have more than one future, and you can have many futures. Think of your life as a root, one straight root, notice how trees grow new roots sometimes many roots all leading to water, but different water at different times from different places.

I used the word root or roots here as in trees or grass, but you can also substitute the word root for route or routes as in paths, roads that you take to get to a certain place or yes, certain places. Places in your life, people in your life. Things in your life. Most people take one path, one route, their path is straight as in a tree that has only one straight root, as your life continues your root grows and when you want it too you can change routes, split that root into two, four, six, other roots, routes, or pathways as I call them. You can get your water from a secondary pathway, another route, in other words you can change the path your on so that you can either get to your goal through a different path or change your path to get to a different goal. Create many new futures with many new possibilities. If you feel stuck it usually means you need to manifest, as in create, some new predictive pathways, you need to grow more roots. You need new destinations and new ways to get there. I can and have helped thousands of people do this and in the end they achieve pure happiness. It is not always easy but it is in most cases the only way to get un-stuck. If you feel stuck then you are stuck.

It is very important to remember all of this because this is going to come up next. If you continue to do the same thing over and over again, you will most certainly get the same result over and over again. There is a saying that goes like this. The definition of insanity is to expect a different result while continually doing the same thing you did over and over before"

 If you run the same race at the same pace and on the same route every time you will get to the finish line at the same speed or will have the same time each time you run the race. Yes the same outcome. Ever wonder why your relationships always seem to turn out the same each time. Why you always seem to get involved with the wrong type of person. This is very important when trying to understand relationships. Why does the same thing happen to you over and over again, mostly because you do, act or react the same way every time. More on this later but keep this in your head so that you will understand this very important post that I want everyone to read and understand. I spend much time preparing and writing these posts. I do so to help people and that is why I read on keen. Simply to help people find their path, the right path.

Changing a prediction. This is very easy to do so make sure that if you do not want to change a prediction you make sure you stay on present course. Here is my very blunt example of being able to change a prediction. I predict that on this Friday you are going to get hit by a bus. Ok you do not want this, or let us hope you do not want this, so how do you change that. Simple, you lock Yourself up Thursday night till Saturday Morning in the top floor of a hotel and do not leave. Presto the bus is now not going to hit you, unless there is a flying bus that I do not know about. My prediction was wrong. I am happy about that in this case. That was easy, you just changed a prediction, you just changed your future, you changed quite a bit of your future actually, you changed one of your predictive paths because not only did you not get hit by the bus, but you probably did not make that appointment you had on Friday, that date, the trip to the store and many other things. The more extreme the change in what you would ordinarily do the more extreme the changes. Think of this as ripples in the pond you just threw a rock into. The bigger the rock, the harder the throw, the more the ripples. Ripples in time, in your time line, and yes in your predictive pathways.

You may have just chosen to be very careful around streets where busses run. Sometimes just hearing a prediction can change things, hearing that you are going to get hit by a bus on Friday is going to make you be more careful crossing the street, driving, or maybe you just take a few extra moments to think before you leave your house and the timing changes and the bus is not where you are at that time.

You changed your timing, everything from this point on will be slightly different. A person you would have passed on the street before will probably not be there to pass later. The timing has changed, your path has been altered. You now will cross paths with a different person or persons. In just about all cases this will hold true, karma can intervene and if you were meant to meet or cross paths with a particular person, karma may very well figure out a way to put that person back in your path at another time, but that's a bit different and we will talk more about karma at a later time. Karma is a force we cant see but is with us working all the time. I will save karma for another post.

This is the end of part one of my post on predictive pathways. Part two coming in the next few days. What I want you to get out of what I just wrote are a few things.

First, that not all predictions are written in stone in fact most long term predictions that sound like fairytales, well they usually are.

Second, That your life is yours and only you control it. You control it in many ways even without noticing but yes you control it.

Third, You can and with my help will make your life the way you want it to be as long as you use as your goal happiness. That is what you strive for, pure happiness.

You may say to yourself if predictions change, then why bother to get a psychic reading. The reason that you want and need a real psychic reading is so that you can know and understand what is happening in your life, in your relationships, and in the mind of others that you care about. So you can understand the path your on, what is going to happen if you stay on that path, what you can do to change that path for the better and how you can control your future by opening up new predictive pathways, new opportunities, change the things that need changing so that you can achieve your goals. That is what a real psychic can do for you. If you want a story, if you want entertainment, if you just want to hear what you want to hear than please do not call me. I do not do carnival type readings, long term crystal ball type entertainment. I read your thoughts and feelings, through you I read the thoughts and feelings of others you want to know about, tell you where you are headed and help you change the path your on so you can get where you want to go. I can answer many questions about you and others, my gifts are very strong. I am very real and can provide you with the help you need to make your life so very happy. I will only tell you the truth, what I see, no games, no fairytales unless your path is already taking you to what or who you want.
So please, let me help you, most people call me after they have called so many others and realize that they have just heard so many stories that did not come to pass. Call me now so that I can help you to write the story that you want rather than tell you a story that well is just not there. remember we make our future by what we do in the present and as far as the past goes, we live in a linear world, the past already happened. That does not mean it will effect your future, please do not let it. remember that you are the only one that can make your future and it has yet to be written.

Part two coming soon. Love and Light Psychic Andrew

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If you are not looking for the truth please do not call me. I am very honest and will only tell you what I see, the real, of real, no crystal ball type stuff here, just the real thoughts feelings and intentions of the persons of interest that you ask about. The truth is the only thing that will help you. No fairytale stories when they are not there, let me help you make your real fairytale.

 As a male psychic. I can read men on a very different level.

Understand Men, Or Your Man, Like Never Before. Look what some of my family of clients have said about me.

I am almost embarrassed to admit it, but Andrew has become an important part of my dating life. I seriously feel like I have another friend “on my team” to get me to do the right thing to get me into a relationship with someone whose intentions and feelings match mine. I’ve gotten bad news, hurtful news, surprisingly good news, and even insights into things about myself I wasn’t seeing; but looking back, it was always right. At the end of one call, I was thinking, “how does he do this?” So I asked him. His response? “I’m psychic!” Andrew is for real, and he’s not just psychic, he does care. 

Another awesome reading. I love that he is honest and upfront with what he sees. I am so excited that he has told me the steps to start taking to get what I want. I feel like I am FINALLY doing something not just waiting on a prediction that doesn't happen! Also grateful he has answered my emails with followup questions. one call to him and you will NEVER call anyone else! I feel his page is correct, he is here to help! More than 5 stars!! 

Thank you, Andrew. You picked up on all the changes within and around me without me saying anything. And I know all the changes are because of your Spiritual Focus Lesson. Life suddenly seems to be looking up. Your encouragement makes a lot of difference because I know that you would never say anything but the truth. I was also touched because you were genuinely happy for me and I feel you care. 

I talk to Andrew on a very regular basis as he is a trusted advisor and friend - I can never leave enough feedback about how wonderful he is and seems inadequate to just say he is the best on Keen - he is so honest, caring and comforting; I will say when I have given bad news about someone he knows I care about, he has cried for me and with me. I have to say he is 100% accurate about my work situation as 6 months ago he said there would be major changes with management and detailed the events at that time. I forgot about it but in the last month ALL his predictions have happened, almost to the day and in the manner he predicted. He is the best. 

Wow!! Psychic Andrew is honest and extremely accurate and is super kind as well! I will be calling him back because of his honesty, accuracy, and integrity. He is also true to his word and gives the five free minutes after a ten-minute call. Thank you, Andrew, I feel so much better after having talked with you. 

Sometimes I can't always read my boyfriend, but Andrew always can. No matter how complex the circumstances. Whatever he says makes sense to me and works with my boyfriend. Andrew takes what I'm confused about and makes it simple.

When I first spoke to Andrew, I knew instantly that he was not pulling my leg or telling me things that I just wanted to hear to make me feel better. He didn't sugarcoat anything, he was straight forward but in a gentle truth type of manner.

 The things that told me, I could not fight back the tears from rolling down my face, but he gave me the answers that I needed to help me make a decision that I already knew deep down inside that I needed to make. What steps Andrew apart from others, right after the call he sent an email to follow up with what it was he was telling me. He didn't just give you some news that you didn't want to hear and left you with your heart in your hand. He is Great. 

Psychic Andrew was one of the best readers I have ever spoken to. It was as if he had been a long-time friend that has been a third-party knowing the detailed ins and outs of my relationship with my husband. Its as if he had been a witness to our relationship all along. He was very accurate and honest and very caring. I would highly recommend a reading with Andrew. He is a very caring individual who seems to genuinely want to help you to understand and to cope and feel content with your situation. I felt a sense of peace when I hung up the phone. He truly was a blessing and a light at a sad dark time. Thank You

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He Who Angers You Controls You-Who Has Your Remote?

Faery Blessings:

Almost everybody had my remote when it came to hair trigger reactions or becoming angry...I took everything personally many many many years ago...I could not take constructive criticism because I learned growing up with a strict family members that what the elders said were the truth and you never question it...so growing up I had no voice to defend myself and somewhere in the middle of trying to grow up I told myself this..."when I grow up no one is going to put me down and if they do they will get the wrong end of the whip" meaning my tongue and words....Now I can clearly see that people just talk, most of them without thinking about what they say and I learned that what people call you is really more of what they feel about themselves...so I flipped the script and decided to listen as they cut me down or said bad things to me and I began to feel sad for the ones yelling and screaming at me as being a part of what they saw and felt in their own lives...at that point of realization I felt sad, knowing that somewhere down the line they had angry people in their lives and that it was a learned behavior to survive....so now instead of "throwing swords at them when my words" I stop and pray to see how I can help them heal...my life is easier now because of this and the "anger" is gone...I choose to see others through the eyes of God instead of my own rose colored glasses...lol...with that being said, enjoy today's message from betterhumanbeings .com and Be Blessed!

"I am sure that most of us can agree that we are tempted to lose it sometimes. When people upset us, aren’t we supposed to fly off the handle? If we do, then we are no better than they are – for he (or she) who angers you, controls you.

We must realize that we are all different. We express ourselves based on our background, frame of reference, culture, upbringing and sometimes we’re just plain unmannerly. But, we must be strong in spite of how others act. We must accept that we are not equal in character, and some things will definitely rub us the wrong way.

Having lived on this earth for a while, I have realized that I have to be prepared for any situation before it happens. I have managed to do this by thinking about the outcome. I step into the future – because if I allow one grumpy person to become a tool that upsets me easily, the result will always be the same. Having that knowledge empowers me with great responsibility, so I choose to respond in a responsible manner.

Anger Is Not Wrong in Itself.

Anger does have its place though. It was given to us by God for a reason. It’s a natural emotion and a part of our being human. It’s a healthy reaction to a situation that should subsequently produce a positive outcome. The important thing here is to know how to manage it.

Spontaneous Anger vs Nurtured Anger

Anger that is spontaneous and not nurtured could be positive if reacting to a situation where someone is being robbed or attacked. However, anger that has been fed over time (resentment) is probably the most dangerous kind. This is because its bearer may feel relieved by lashing out at their target, believing they have good reason to. This is what I call balloon anger. It will burst at some point because of all that negative pent-up energy. When the balloon of anger explodes – there is no telling where or how far it will go. The “hot air” in the balloon controls its direction…

He who angers you controls you. Now does that make more sense? Hot air is just air and has no substance. It will eventually dissipate.

How can we be sure that we are angry for the right reasons and not trying to justify ourselves, because our feelings were hurt

Anger must result in a positive outcome one way or another

There must be justice
There must be a change
There must be a resolution

In the case of direct personal pain (initiated by people or circumstances)

It should make us wiser in understanding our responsibility on how we relate to others

It should teach us how to react differently in the future
Cause us to ask ourselves, “What role did I play in this?”

In the case of external influences (things that we have no control over)

It should cause us to look for answers and resolutions
It may stir up our passions and produce change
It may cause us to help others as a result
It may teach us how to manage our feelings in the midst of conflict

People Will Disappoint Us Sometimes

People will disappoint us, say things that hurt and abandon us for various reasons. Some are valid and some are concocted but it doesn’t matter. We are stuck with ourselves anyway, so we better get used to being our own best friend in this regard. However, it is in times like these, that we should examine ourselves to see if there is anything in us that needs changing. I am saying, rather than become upset, seek to become a better person as a result of these experiences.

Do not become resentful, rather, understand that this is a part of life. Do not beat up on yourself trying to determine who’s at fault and what went wrong. Accept that it has happened, learn from the experience, forgive and move on, your future depends on it.

If every time someone offended us we were to react in anger, imagine the valuable time wasted with negative thoughts. This would also result in us lashing out at the innocent in the process. Not to mention the unproductive, psychological and physical damage we would be doing to ourselves as well. Is it worth it?

Don’t Expect Others to Respond in the Same Manner You Would

I can relate to this statement very much as I have suffered from this problem all my life. One example — is someone who likes to help others, I tend to think that helping others is the reason we are all alive. However, I tend to be judgmental when I see people being selfish or inconsiderate. It can become a problem if I allow it to, and look for reasons to feed my “anger.” My response then in this scenario, is to continue to be me and help wherever I can; not be judgmental.

So, you see how anger can wear many hats? Anger can cause us to be judgmental sometimes, display bad manners, bad attitudes and the list goes on.

For you, this may be a different scenario but just don’t come down on others for not reacting in the way you would. They may have a “good” reason for their actions at that point in time.

Conflict Resolution – How to Resolve Anger

When we counter-attack, we lower ourselves to the standards of others and that’s where they may want us. It’s at that lowly point that anything can happen, as the situation further deteriorates. That may be where our “antagonists” are strongest, so don’t go there with them. Sometimes people who are hurting, are looking for someone to blame for every problem they have ever had in life. This can turn out very badly if so. Don’t become their object.

Don’t stand in the gap for any particular offender in their past (in an uncontrolled environment)! You may be left with a gaping hole.

When we allow ourselves to succumb to anger, we give up our ability to control ourselves and have now placed them in charge of us. It’s at that point that they will use the remote on us to turn up the heat and roast us on their turf.

When we surrender our will to our emotions, we are operating in reverse gear. We are supposed to be in control of our emotions.

In times like these, we may say and do the wrong things, causing further hurt and suffering. This leaves us feeling guilty for having allowed ourselves to become angry in the first place.

In any heated exchange of anger, the only direction to go to win the “fight,” is deeper into the cesspool.

Napoleon Hill once said in the Laws of Success “keep cool when other people get hot!” After a while, the person gets tired of talking and stops.

Growing Pains — Anger’s Slow Rise to Fame

You may have heard that there are stages of grief. The same is true for anger and here is a formula if you are interested.

Mild anxiety or irritability — normal
Vexation — normal
Wrath/fury — getting dangerous. You are beginning to lose it:
Rage — out of control. Anything can happen

In our conversations today, we may very well encounter a few hotheads, hardheads or some who don’t care how they express themselves. This will happen from time to time. Don’t take it personally. Be always courteous!

Sometimes our interpretations may be wrong and are based on our own hang-ups

The individual may have had traumatic experiences growing up, that still play out in their minds; so they travel back to that point in time and manifest what worked for them then. The only difference now is that their once defensive mode has become offensive. They go on the offensive now because they are older and may feel confident enough to lash out.

Finally, let’s end on this. Treat everyone the way we want to be treated. That’s the golden rule. That’s the secret to peace and harmony right there; if we can only submit to one other, think first and take a deep breath before we respond. Understanding that people are different and may react differently is key to how we operate around them

Proverbs 15:1 – 2 (NKJV) A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.

Let others vent. It’s OK to be a punching bag sometimes… well, I mean figuratively. Understanding that you are the one in control here can be extremely significant and valuable in helping someone to overcome.

Will you be adding fuel to that fire or water, or will you be settling this matter on your own turf? When dealing with others who may be angry, do not take their outburst personally. The source of their anger is not you but is triggered by some unresolved issues in them.

In my experience, the best way is always to listen and not be quick to respond. If at all possible, help anyone who is willing to seek victory from this destructive “disease,” by way of prayer and also by taking responsibility and the necessary actions to bring about change. As it says in Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Gods grace, peace, mercy, love & abundance be upon all your days I pray!
Faery Sprinkles
Lavonda`