Maybe I didn't love you Quite as often as I could have And maybe I didn't treat you Quite as good as I should have If I made you feel second best Girl I'm sorry I was blind You were always on my mind You were always on my mind And maybe I didn't hold you All those lonely, lonely times And I guess I never told you I'm so happy that you're mine Little things I should have said and done I just never took the time You were always on my mind You were always on my mind Tell me, Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died Give me, give me One more chance to keep you satisfied I'll keep you satisfied - Willie Nelson © 1972 written by johnnie Christopher, Mark James, Wayne Carson
His face, drawn with lines of tiredness, her husband finally showed up in the doorway of the small home. Smells of whiskey, sweat, drifted up as he flopped on the couch. The guitarist returning home from touring over county fairs, small bars along Music Row, other cities, towns, was finally home. The wife , thankful to see he was alive, stood back from running to hug him, partly because of the smell, but mostly from hurt, anger, disbelief that he could just stroll in so easily. See, he had not called, or been in touch for four days. Much like many people, her mind had turned as a hamster in the exercise wheel with thoughts of WHY he had not been in contact. Another woman, but no truthfully he really wasn’t like that, booze, yes, of course, but he had in the past called before drunk, she searched her mind, her heart for the answer that if he truly loved her, he would want to talk to her, reach out. Picking up his guitar, he sang her this song. Days of driving, late nights, too much to drink, hours on a hot stage, he had no really good reason. There are times when people just do not have a clear conscious reason for things each one says, the way actions are taken. In fact, he/she just assumes ( we all know what happens when we assume) that the partner KNOWS love is in the relationship. So we have to find balance, we have to find an answer so the relationship is healthy, is positive, both people feel loved , feel trusted, are trusted. We can’t nag, yell, implore, the relationship into being healthy. There has to be examples, forgiveness, finding a way to quietly demand respect. See, this is the thing in our relationships. There is love, there is desire, but respect has went out the door. So today, we tell the person we love, we love them. Today we forgive this guy/woman the dumbness, we give love, then start again to build respect, to do the little things we should have said and done.
Animal totems: Albatross: often hearing of the albatross on our back, we don’t think of this animal, this totem very often. Bro Albatross is a big bird who is very patient. He has learned maturity, patience, allowing things to develop slowly rather than moving fast, too quickly. His medicine teaches us to dream, seek inspiration, then to take the actions. Rather than snapping too quickly, this totem reminds us that everyone doesn’t move on goals, on dreams, toward the outcome as fast as we do. When Bro Albatross shows up, it is an omen that changes are right on the edge to come, we must allow the spirit to lead us to it, allowing the winds to blow with kindness, understand, patience.
I am here my usual hours today. I do look forward to helping guide on the path as we wait for changes. The greats sing about that yes, he/she can love us , not be in contact. Sometimes for real reasons, sometimes only because he/she is not quite ready yet. May the fairies dance around each of us today. Love ya, Me, Cherokee, Cidro, FrankieCapone, Sugar Fortune Cookie, T, and the sweet spirit of Bob, Bets