Okay, a week has past and I've done the work. Now WHAT?
Now is the time you work on yourself. Are you the perfect mate for your perfect match?
Start with a self inventory. What do you wish you had more of in your life; what character traits do you need to bone up; how about friendships - like love relationships friendships need to be fed and nutured. Hobbies and interests, do you need to cultivate some? People like interesting people that are well balanced and happy within themselves. If you are waiting to "start your life" once your romantic match enters then you are behind the curve.
Following are some basic activities that you can use to prepare for your next romance.
1. Clean your house! Yes, clean out pictures of you and your ex, little momentos that keep their energy around and yes really clean. Make your home something that you would be proud for company to come over. After the past relationship items are put away or thrown away, burn a white candle and see the white light filling and blessing your humble abode making it ready to accept new experiences in your life.
2. Take a look at your boudoir (bedroom). Does it say a full grown woman or man stays here? Men if you are still flying your college frat flag or ladies you have dolls, stuff animals or tinkerbell anywhere in the room it's time for an upgrade. Nice bedding, no clutter with a sensual theme fits the bill. No guest wants to be introduced to your bedroom having to step over two weeks worth of laundry and wake up to the sight of last week's G-String laying on top of the mound. Don't overlook your bathroom. Some nice towels and clean facilities are a must!
3. Go through your closets. Toss out what is worn out. Put together some cute date outfits, maybe add a new accessory or two. Same for men. If you greatest look came from the eighties, pick up Maxim or GQ and get some current styles to impress your date. How well we maintain our look says a lot about how much we respect ourselves. Updating your look can be done even while on a budget. Get a great haircut and maintain your own color and mani/pedi's at home. While going to the make-up counter for a free makeover, updating your glasses, and teeth whitening may sound frivilous to some, it will add to your self confidence. Being comfortable in our skin is not something that we can fake. Worrying about if we look fat, or if our roots are showing is definitely not attractive. Confidence is sexy.
4. We've taken care of our home, our personal space and our closets. We are updated and feeling good about how we are presenting ourselves to the world. Now go find some joy! What makes you tick? Do you want to learn French, then go. Take pottery, learn to ski, read a good book, volunteer for a worthy cause, fill your life with friends, laughter, meaningful work and enriching activities. Don't feel physically fit, start a fitness routine in other words LIVE. Men want to be with a woman for the rest their lives because she is interesting not because she memorized the Kama Sutra.
5. Finally, I wrote this assuming we all learned our manners back in the "What I learned in Kindergarten" phase of our lives, but for those of you who didn't or don't remember polish up your pleases and thank you's. Remember the way we treat others is a reflection upon us not the other person. Show interest in your date and become a good listener. One of my clients told me that the funnest first date she ever had was with her current boyfriend. On their first date he offered to play 20 questions, with each of them taking a turn. The conversation lasted well into the night with lots of laughter. She said that she felt that she actually knew him better than the last guy she had dated for 3 months!
Lastly, as an aside, women don't chase your potential beloved down like a cheetah hunting is prey, have some dignity and exercise some restraint. Get to know him and stay focused in your own life. Men, if you are interested in a woman be the man you want them to see you as, a Gentlemen. Call when you say you are going to call, pick them up in a clean vehicle, be on time, show them that you are someone they can trust. Inviting yourself over to a woman's house to sit on her couch, eat her food, drink her drinks, watch her TV and then sleep in her bed is called Tuesday for a woman, not a date. No self-respecting woman would allow it and no gentlemen getting to know a woman would expect it.
Blessings, Avalonmare
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Copyright © 2011 Avalonmare
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