Boundaries are VERY important for a successful relationship. Boundaries bring happiness to animals, kids and yes to relationships.
Children need boundaries so they feel safe. Animals need boundaries so they can know how to please. And women and men need boundaries for both reasons! LOL!
When relationships become heated . . . there needs to be a set of rules for fair fighting. Here are some starter tips.
1. No name calling.
2. No touching while in heated discussion.
3. No pulling the abandonment card.
4. Yelling can be optional. As long as children are not around.
People have a right to have their safety bubble/zone. This can be called a boundary.
Have you ever been in a discussion with a group of people and one person seems to be flying their hands around in emphasis of their topic . . . have you ever noticed that their hands will sometimes fly into your bubble? Take a physical step back and watch their reaction. They may not react at all! They just keep flinging their bubble/boundary around. These people are not aware of boundaries. But YOU are . . . and by stepping back your bubble is very much intact . . . and if you noticed . . . they really didn't want YOUR imput at all! They were just expressing all their emotions . . . the best way they could.
When you are contemplating a relationship . . . think of your boundaries. What are they? What do you want in your bubble and what would you rather NOT have?
What is in your bubble is yours.
What is in the other persons bubble is theirs.
Now two bubbles can bump against each other and it can be pleasurable. There is a little give and take for both bubbles. But if one bubble is popped at the expense of the other bubble . . . someone is not going to be happy.
Intimacy is a type of enmeshment of two bubbles. The two bubbles become one . . . for a short time. The problem arises when the two bubbles separate. THE TWO BUBBLES NEED TO SEPARATE!! It is not healthy to keep joined together at the hips! You can't walk, work or play! The two bubbles need to become individual once again.
Intimacy is pleasurable and there are hormones that produce great results of pleasure, but it is NOT the ultimate goal to happiness.
Happiness is being happy in your OWN bubble, appreciating someone else's bubble . . . and every now and then . . .
Well, I hope you can get the gest of this lesson.
Call me if your having bubble problems . . . or watch bubbles and think about your own boundaries.
Are you happy in your own bubble? Or do you think that you have to be inside someone else's bubble continually to be happy?
LOVE & LIGHT
:) Ronda