This lovely card called "Psychic" is from 'The Soulmate Oracle Deck' by John Grey, Ph.D. It reminds us how very easy it is to fall into the "psychic trap", wherein we believe we can intuit exactly what our partner thinks, feels, or wants, at any given time. Its easy to believe that we can properly interpret their actions, responses, words, and then respond according to that interpretation.
Why is this kind of thinking a trap?
"Viewing a partner through the distorting lens of our inner "crystal ball" is dangerous, as we seldom realize that we are simply making things up. We've all heard of self-fulfilling prophecies. These occur when someone is so strongly affected by their "psychic knowledge" that they act in a way that makes their worst fears come true.
How do you tend to play the psychic with your partner? All of us at times think we know what our partner is feeling. We become upset by what we think our partner means by an action or by their words. We even limit our own choices and behavior according to how we believe they will respond to us. Do you recognize how you do any of these things?
It's important to realize that whatever you see in your "crystal ball" could be absolutely wrong. You may be limiting your relationship by believing in that crystal ball. This card warns you to beware of being "psychic" in any way about your partner. It's always better to ask than to assume!"
Conversely, it's also unwise to expect our partner to be psychic about us! They have no way of knowing what we feel, need, think, at any moment, especially when we haven't shared that information with them. Then we become hurt or angry because they haven't satisfied our unspoken needs. The reality is that it's simply not true that if our partners "truly care" about us, they'll "know" what we want without our telling them.
To quote Dr Grey again:
"The card PSYCHIC makes a suggestion: To find out what is really going on, talk! Open your mind, your heart, and your eyes. Then open your mouth. To know what's going on with your partner, ask them! If there's something you want or need from your partner, tell them! If you are having problems, speak up and discuss what's going on inside of you.
By talking, you and your partner can distinguish your imagined ideas and beliefs from the realities within each of you - and see each other more clearly. With this clarity, you will more easily see ways that you can move together toward greater joy and fulfillment."
Why is this kind of thinking a trap?
- Because we can never know for sure what's happening inside the mind and heart of another person - not even the person closest to us.
- We each come equipped with our own set of expectations, beliefs, fears, and filters, which predispose us to see things in a certain way.
- No two people are exactly the same, so it's never safe to make assumptions based on our previous experiences with other people.
- It's much easier and less stressful to ask what someone else is thinking than it is to try to figure it out on our own.
"Viewing a partner through the distorting lens of our inner "crystal ball" is dangerous, as we seldom realize that we are simply making things up. We've all heard of self-fulfilling prophecies. These occur when someone is so strongly affected by their "psychic knowledge" that they act in a way that makes their worst fears come true.
How do you tend to play the psychic with your partner? All of us at times think we know what our partner is feeling. We become upset by what we think our partner means by an action or by their words. We even limit our own choices and behavior according to how we believe they will respond to us. Do you recognize how you do any of these things?
It's important to realize that whatever you see in your "crystal ball" could be absolutely wrong. You may be limiting your relationship by believing in that crystal ball. This card warns you to beware of being "psychic" in any way about your partner. It's always better to ask than to assume!"
Conversely, it's also unwise to expect our partner to be psychic about us! They have no way of knowing what we feel, need, think, at any moment, especially when we haven't shared that information with them. Then we become hurt or angry because they haven't satisfied our unspoken needs. The reality is that it's simply not true that if our partners "truly care" about us, they'll "know" what we want without our telling them.
To quote Dr Grey again:
"The card PSYCHIC makes a suggestion: To find out what is really going on, talk! Open your mind, your heart, and your eyes. Then open your mouth. To know what's going on with your partner, ask them! If there's something you want or need from your partner, tell them! If you are having problems, speak up and discuss what's going on inside of you.
By talking, you and your partner can distinguish your imagined ideas and beliefs from the realities within each of you - and see each other more clearly. With this clarity, you will more easily see ways that you can move together toward greater joy and fulfillment."
The bottom line is, if you want to know what your partner is thinking, ask them! And if you want them to know what you're thinking, tell them! Communication is the key to a loving, caring, informed relationship.
Blessings,
Robyn