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Every relationship requires compromise. We all know that every healthy relationship, be it romantic, family, business, or friendship, requires working with the other person and respecting the healthy give-and-take that is always needed. Unfortunately, sometimes this process is off balance, and our relationships suffer as a result.
It is important to first always recognize that there are certain fundamentals of any relationship that are never subject to compromise. These are the “rules” that we all should understand, and breaking them means and end to the relationship. For example, when dating we expect true, committed partnership. No woman should date a man that does not offer this and stick to it. Another example of a “broken rule” would be a friend or co-worker that would ask us to do something illegal or unethical. This type of behavior is always non-negotiable and the answer is always “no.” Someone that would expect us to stray from our core values is someone that we do not want in our lives.
Also, remember that the words “give” and “take” are both part of the compromise process. We may find ourselves “giving” to a person, but that person never gives back. This is not compromise and it is not fair. For example, a man that always insists on getting what he wants, but never seems to give back is being exploitive, not loving. The same holds true with friends and family that always shows up needing help. We should always trust our judgement to understand these situations and act accordingly.
Finally, compromise always involves open dialogue. Open, honest conversations are a fundamental requirement, and should be considered non-negotiable. A friend or partner that wants something from us but refuses to talk openly about what we get in return is not looking for compromise. Remember, we are all adults and we are capable of speaking English. Never give to someone who will not have a conversation about it on adult terms.
Ultimately understanding the difference between honest compromise and being taken advantage of is a key to being in healthy relationships. It is a standard component of fundamental fairness. Standing up for our values in this regard ofen takes strength, but it pays off in the long run.
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