We've talked at great length about the crap that we deal with that we shouldn't; the men who do it to us and what they are really all about. What about, however, using our inner power, our subtle manipulations to get what we want?
Oh yes, I said it, MANIPULATION. We all do it. Some more passively than others but we all manipulate sometimes to get what we want.
Am I saying that you should hold his cat hostage with threats to rip out a whisker for each hour that passes before he calls you? No, that would be psychotic and while I love my crazy bitches, I certainly want no part in animal cruelty.
What I am referring to are subtle things that can be done which spark a person to get off their ass and start tending to YOUR needs. We are not talking about changing YOU the person. That is something I would never do. I am asking, however, for you to stop playing the role of victim and start using the power you have.
Even if you are in a back and forth, off again and on again relationship you still HAVE POWER! That man isn't coming back into your life because your just so darn swell to be around! He wants what you have to offer. So USE THAT to your advantage.
Want some pictures hung up on the wall? Want a home-cooked meal? Feeling frisky and he isn't? Its rather easy to simply sit there and sulk because asking didn't result in what you want. Its even simpler yet to try a different approach. Compliment him on the last time you two were together. Or if he is cocky and makes a remark about how good he gave it to you last time reply with a "yeah, it was alright". Most men love a good challenge.
Be a little more covert. Use a little reverse psychology. Tired of sex sessions that speak more towards his needs than yours? When he goes to touch you flip it around on him, quite literally and say "Not this time, buddy" and proceed to put him where YOU want him.
Not only does this definitely add a bit of spice and shake things up but lets be honest there is nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants.
Some of what I touched on may have you thinking its only really applicable in established couples but such is not the case. Is your not yet committed, perhaps even back and forth lover difficult to reign in? Try mirroring him. When he calls, let it go to voice-mail. I'm not talking about SENDING IT to voice-mail, we all know when that happens. Rather I am speaking about letting it ring and ring and ring. When you talk to him act indifferent. "Oh hey, whats up?" When he is FINALLY ready, after likely several missed dates or going MIA for awhile to meet up say "you know what, doll, I have stuff to do tonight. How about I catch you when I have a bit more free time?"
Nothing is more attractive to someone who comes in and out of your life than a challenge. This is especially true when they think that perhaps they underestimated you and you are close to shutting the door, tiring of them.
If he sends some random text that you KNOW he is doing to illicit a response ignore it for awhile. When you do respond be just as cryptic.
Not only are you going to drive him mad but at the same time it becomes quite fun.
Now I'm not suggesting ladies that you sit back and do this day in and day out. My husband and I are happily married but we still use bribery and a little manipulation. "Hey babe, put the baby to bed, I have a nice massage waiting for you when your done". Its a quid pro quo in many cases.
You might be saying "why go to all this trouble?" and if that is the case then you likely shouldn't because you would be doing it for the wrong reasons. This is not about taking a man who doesn't truly love and want you and suddenly making them come forth with a ring. Its about enjoying connection and getting just as much out of them as you impart and given that 90% of my Goddesses out there are doing far more giving then they are taking this is a much needed read.
This is about empowering yourself to realize that you don't have to be stuck tending to HIS needs while yours go lacking. This is about reminding yourself of that Goddess power, that vixen power that resides in all of us ladies. Its about remembering that no on is going to take care of you like you will. Its about balancing the power that all to often in certain relationships is swayed their way and not OURS! I'm not advising you to make him crawl on hands and knees on floors littered with jasmine rice complete with a ball gag in his mouth before you will even kiss him; unless of course you both are into that sort of thing but that is another story all on its own. I am asking you to remember that you are not a victim. I am asking for you to remember that you do not need to be aggressive or obnoxious any more than you have to be weak and powerless. There is a more subtle and far times more effective approach towards getting their attention and keeping the balance.
Lets be honest, if your needs are met then you are a happy woman, and a happy woman often means a very happy man as well!
Have a great weekend!
