We are all taught from a very young age to be kind, considerate, and giving. Living by these universal values makes our lives better, and it also makes the world a better place. Nevertheless, sometimes we can forget that being a good person does not mean that we should compromise our values, nor does it mean that we should lessen our expectations of others.
We all know the golden rule, and most of us try to live by it. We often forget, however, that the golden rule is a door that swings both ways. Enforcing it is just as important as living by it. A “friend” that always takes but never gives is not much a friend. A family member that is always needing help but refuses to become self-sufficient is not respecting true family values.
When it comes to romance, looking at the world this way is especially important. Do you always work hard to make your partner happy? Do you regularly make sacrifices to help the person that you are dating? Do you always put his/her needs above your own? Chances are you do. Thus, you should get exactly the same. If your partner does not do the same for you then it is time to re-evaluate the relationship.
Finally, remember that by holding people to real expectations, we are helping them. When we ignore someone’s selfish or disrespectful behavior we are only encouraging them to continue it. It may be difficult, but there are productive, non-confrontational ways to respond to inappropriate behavior, and it is important that we be strong enough to do this. It is good for people to experience honest consequences because that is how we grow and become better.
Remember that you are important, and that you are good person not only because it is good for others, but because it is good for you. This means that you deserve to receive good treatment just as much as you give it. Making this happen takes strength, but it is worth it in the long run.
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