I analyze my relationships with people and coordinate them with the choices I make in my life. This is an epiphany I had the other day. My sister Laura and I are very close. When she graduated high school she moved in with me, went to college a bit and then met her husband. They married in 2004 just before her 22nd birthday. I can't believe it, but they'll be celebrating 10 years in October.
When my niece Sienna was born I felt that her life was settled and that I could finally leave metro Detroit and that's exactly what I did. To be clear, Laura didn't require me to her "guardian" or anything like that. It's just the way I operated back then and apparently I still do to a certain extent.
There have been other situations similar to the above example. I wait until the people I love are comfortable before I move forward in my own life. It's odd, I know. Thinking about it now makes me feel totally unhealthy and effed in the head, LOL. Those choices don't affect anyone, but myself and I'm now wondering WTF is wrong with me? Why have I always made others' lives more important than my own? I'm only aware of it because a person I care deeply for has recently shown that he's staying focused on a solid direction and not deviating from it. Now I feel like I can give myself permission to permanently let go and allow myself the same sort of fresh start. This is generally what it's like to deal with a spiritual connection. That feeling is strong and indescribable. More than anything I really hope it works out for the both of us this time.
Most people think that the person they end up with or get married to is their "soul mate." If you've been following me throughout my career or know me personally, you already understand that I do not carry that belief system. I actually told my husband that he was NOT my soul mate and I gave him a very detailed explanation of why I felt that way. He was shocked, of course. In response to his reaction I brought up his first marriage and asked, "Well did you think SHE was your soul mate?" With the way society portrays this concept, we're only supposed to have ONE. He didn't know what to say to that. I also mentioned that the word forever made me uncomfortable. It's partly due to the fact that I used it with someone else, a one-sided situation that sucked the life out of my spirit for a while.
The reason my husband was so shocked is because like most people, he's been conditioned to believe that there's someone out there for everyone and this person would be "made JUST for you." People die before they're old enough to date. So no, there's not someone out there for everyone. I know this may sound harsh, but it's a fact that has been proven yet people still feel the need to put themselves through enormous suffering over this soul mate thing. A THING. A CONCEPT. Not a REALITY.
Now don't get me wrong, I actually DO believe in soul mates. I believe that our souls can break into pieces before incarnation and become other people. I also believe they can enter into the physical world at different times and in different locations. So for example, if you live in the US you could have a soul mate in another country AND they can be from another generation. In other words, not a viable dating option for you. The opposite can also be true, but from my experience professionally most soul mates do not end up in holy matrimony, if you're able to meet them.
How people are in spirit is not always the same in reality. You can love someone spiritually, but be totally incompatible. On the flip side, you can be compatible with someone romantically, but that doesn't mean they are a true soul mate.
The purpose in our soul splitting is to
take care of all the karma created from other lifetimes so that our soul
can evolve quicker. Each and every one of us has a job to do and once
it's complete, we die. We can be happy while doing our jobs, but
finding that "one true soul mate" isn't one of them.
When I love someone, I love them with all my heart. Whether it's a family member, romantic partner or platonic friend, I am loyal to a fault. I feel as though I've met a few of my soul mates, both platonic and romantic in nature. Male and female. At this point, none of them are currently active in my life. It's really interesting because all of these people and I were VERY compatible for a period of time, but then there was a strange falling out that didn't quite make sense. This is very common with spiritual connections. There's a purpose, it's fulfilled, but the door is kept open for only God knows what in the future.
Now to be clear, just because you can't seem to let go of someone DOES NOT mean they are your soul mate or that they have a real purpose in your physical life. This is a very dangerous thought process to have. When someone leaves your life, it's for a reason. Always respect their wishes and do your best to not go over the edge emotionally. Be honest with yourself and get help if necessary. Remember that not all spiritual connections are soul mates, but ALL of them serve a purpose and that's to help your spirit evolve.