Wondering if the gentleman that you are interested in developing a relationship with is sincere about wanting to get to know you? Is he just interested in you in a "casual" way? There are several key indicators of what a man's intentions are toward you that are easy enough to spot.
Understanding the short-term and long-term relationship strategies that men implement is an easy way to know whether your new interest is "worth the wait". Applying this knowledge to your personal relationships is not a difficult task, it just takes a little critical thinking.
First of all, you have to understand what attracts men. Looks. Yes, men are shallow beings. Attractiveness is measured psychologically by a person's symmetry. If you are a pleasant looking individual, who has a face that is well-balanced, clear skin, and a decent appearance to your hair, you are probably considered reasonably attractive. Body shape needs to lend itself to a "fertile" appearance. A well-defined waist line, not anorexic, but a slimmer waist, with hips a bit broader, and a defined bosom are considered signs of fertility. Well proportioned, balanced, symmetry again.
If a man is interested in a long-term relationship, he will pursue a woman who has symmetry, appears "fertile" (even if beyond child-bearing years), and has a relatively healthy appearance.
If a man is only looking for short-term connection (casual sex), he will not really put a high value on the female's appearance, as he does not value her as a potential permanent partner. So check out the quantity and quality of his short-term partners if you can.
Age does matter. Men are drawn to fertility (yes, even if you are beyond child-bearing years). Rarely does a younger male seek the companionship of a significantly older female. Generally males pursue females who are an average of 3 to 5 years younger than themselves for long-term relationship formation, although this is the average, the older a male becomes, the larger the age gap. If you are older than him, the odds that he is looking to you to form a long-term relationship go down, exponentially with each year that you are elder to him. If you are 5 or more years older than him, unless you are extremely wealthy, or have some other type of material security to offer him, he is just looking for a casual, short-term experience with you.
Cougars are a myth. They exist only in Hollywood and on TV shows, and remember, a real cougar is only using the younger man for HER pleasure, not building a "relationship". So be realistic. You may have a fun time with "Mr. I am 8 Years Older than Him", but that's all it is likely to become, don't expect a lot. There are exceptions to every rule, but you would save yourself a lot of heartache if you learned to realize these relationships seldom develop and behave accordingly.
So, men are looking for symmetry, youth, and fertility for long-term relationship building. What are they looking for in the short-term? Anything goes. In the short-term, men are unconcerned with symmetry, they may only be with you one time. They have no concern about your age, you can be a suitable sexual partner regardless of being his senior, and perhaps an enjoyable one at that, until he finds someone he has a more committed interest in. Body shape? Short-term, men are usually unconcerned with whether you are too thin, too heavy, or perfectly symmetrical, they have no intention of sticking around once they have had enough pleasure from you.
A key indicator is also how your appearance matches up to his. Tens attract tens, nines attract nines, and fives attract fives. If you have a realistic self-awareness of your attractiveness level, and you believe yourself to be a six, and a gentlemen who is a nine begins showing an interest in you, be careful...he is probably only looking for a short-term connection (unless he views you as a 9 or 10). Saying "you're hot" to you does not mean that he believes you are superior in attractiveness, it just means that he wouldn't kick you out of bed, not until he was done, anyhow.
So, if you are looking for a long-term partner, keep in mind that he should be someone who is similar to you in level of attractiveness, age appropriate (+/- 5 Years is a stretch, usually plus 3 to 5 (or more if you are older), and -3 for the reach toward the youthful men), and shows a consistent interest in you.
What do I mean by consistent?
Regular, intentional interest and communication initiated by him, toward you. If he only approaches you at the bar, at midnight, on Friday night, and you don't hear from him all week, that's not consistent. If he likes your facebook posts, but never calls you to chat or asks you out, that's not consistency. If you only see him at a class you both happen to enjoy, that is not consistent. Direct and personal contact indicates interest.
Don't invest your time, or your heart, until he has built consistency.
Evolutionary Psychology teaches us these facts, and these facts are scientifically valid. Evolutionary Psychology also states that men will wait to become physically intimate with a mate that they perceive as having long-term potential, but with short-term partners, they will want physical intimacy quickly, and very quickly find another short-term, once they are satisfied.
So, pay attention to the "Science" in love. Take your time, let the male pursue, and do not become intimate until you feel he has a vested interest in you.
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Understanding the short-term and long-term relationship strategies that men implement is an easy way to know whether your new interest is "worth the wait". Applying this knowledge to your personal relationships is not a difficult task, it just takes a little critical thinking.
First of all, you have to understand what attracts men. Looks. Yes, men are shallow beings. Attractiveness is measured psychologically by a person's symmetry. If you are a pleasant looking individual, who has a face that is well-balanced, clear skin, and a decent appearance to your hair, you are probably considered reasonably attractive. Body shape needs to lend itself to a "fertile" appearance. A well-defined waist line, not anorexic, but a slimmer waist, with hips a bit broader, and a defined bosom are considered signs of fertility. Well proportioned, balanced, symmetry again.
If a man is interested in a long-term relationship, he will pursue a woman who has symmetry, appears "fertile" (even if beyond child-bearing years), and has a relatively healthy appearance.
If a man is only looking for short-term connection (casual sex), he will not really put a high value on the female's appearance, as he does not value her as a potential permanent partner. So check out the quantity and quality of his short-term partners if you can.
Age does matter. Men are drawn to fertility (yes, even if you are beyond child-bearing years). Rarely does a younger male seek the companionship of a significantly older female. Generally males pursue females who are an average of 3 to 5 years younger than themselves for long-term relationship formation, although this is the average, the older a male becomes, the larger the age gap. If you are older than him, the odds that he is looking to you to form a long-term relationship go down, exponentially with each year that you are elder to him. If you are 5 or more years older than him, unless you are extremely wealthy, or have some other type of material security to offer him, he is just looking for a casual, short-term experience with you.
Cougars are a myth. They exist only in Hollywood and on TV shows, and remember, a real cougar is only using the younger man for HER pleasure, not building a "relationship". So be realistic. You may have a fun time with "Mr. I am 8 Years Older than Him", but that's all it is likely to become, don't expect a lot. There are exceptions to every rule, but you would save yourself a lot of heartache if you learned to realize these relationships seldom develop and behave accordingly.
So, men are looking for symmetry, youth, and fertility for long-term relationship building. What are they looking for in the short-term? Anything goes. In the short-term, men are unconcerned with symmetry, they may only be with you one time. They have no concern about your age, you can be a suitable sexual partner regardless of being his senior, and perhaps an enjoyable one at that, until he finds someone he has a more committed interest in. Body shape? Short-term, men are usually unconcerned with whether you are too thin, too heavy, or perfectly symmetrical, they have no intention of sticking around once they have had enough pleasure from you.
A key indicator is also how your appearance matches up to his. Tens attract tens, nines attract nines, and fives attract fives. If you have a realistic self-awareness of your attractiveness level, and you believe yourself to be a six, and a gentlemen who is a nine begins showing an interest in you, be careful...he is probably only looking for a short-term connection (unless he views you as a 9 or 10). Saying "you're hot" to you does not mean that he believes you are superior in attractiveness, it just means that he wouldn't kick you out of bed, not until he was done, anyhow.
So, if you are looking for a long-term partner, keep in mind that he should be someone who is similar to you in level of attractiveness, age appropriate (+/- 5 Years is a stretch, usually plus 3 to 5 (or more if you are older), and -3 for the reach toward the youthful men), and shows a consistent interest in you.
What do I mean by consistent?
Regular, intentional interest and communication initiated by him, toward you. If he only approaches you at the bar, at midnight, on Friday night, and you don't hear from him all week, that's not consistent. If he likes your facebook posts, but never calls you to chat or asks you out, that's not consistency. If you only see him at a class you both happen to enjoy, that is not consistent. Direct and personal contact indicates interest.
Don't invest your time, or your heart, until he has built consistency.
Evolutionary Psychology teaches us these facts, and these facts are scientifically valid. Evolutionary Psychology also states that men will wait to become physically intimate with a mate that they perceive as having long-term potential, but with short-term partners, they will want physical intimacy quickly, and very quickly find another short-term, once they are satisfied.
So, pay attention to the "Science" in love. Take your time, let the male pursue, and do not become intimate until you feel he has a vested interest in you.