They make us laugh, smile and we feel like we are floating. Red flags could be going up everywhere, yet we are blinded. They do say love is blind. Should it be deaf, dumb and stupid? Should we sacrifice our own self worth or value because we so desperately don't want to be alone?
So, what are the warning signs?
They are secretive about everything. Their phone, computer or i pad is OFF limits. (Granted, you are in a RELATIONSHIP) They speak poorly of every ex they ever had. (Even the Mother of their children) Now, I know there are exceptions to every rule. However, is every past partner really that rotten? Every one is a b…., rotten and has screwed them over in some way.
They will lie right to your face and when you call them on it they give the dumbest excuses. This is an example: I am sorry I couldn't call you and only text but the tenants had no outlets and I lost my charger for my phone. BUT the second this person got back on the road they called. (Interestingly, it was their house being rented by their ex)
"We are only friends". Why are you so jealous? If I didn't love you, you wouldn't be here right now. Men and women can be friends, yes. But if you are hiding something why not introduce your friend?
They avoid intimate answers or discussions. You're too much. They have multiple Facebook pages and you are their only friend on one.
"I can't add you, it would cause too much drama". Their ex girlfriends contact you to find out info about them because they've been scorned.
I didn't say you had to slobber us all over Facebook but really?
They are always on the prowl for someone better. You know this but avoid admitting it. They have no other friends but some of their ex's. Maybe one. They have no drive and when you need them you are afraid to ask for what you want.
In the beginning you are as good as gold but within a few months they loose their "courting' skills. Its as if you are already married. They ambiance has faded. Even in healthy marriages, you work at it. Marriage is not easy but can be so worth it.
They barely if at all keep in touch with family. This is IMPORTANT because you want to see a level of respect and how someone interacts with family and friends. This counts even if family is long distance. We all have phones.
When you ask a question is the question simple or embarrassing? It’s normal for someone to look away when asked a difficult question. But when someone avoids your gaze when asked a simple question, you should be suspicious.
In healthy relationships there is trust that has been earned. You build from the ground up. You don't feel the need to snoop or wonder what they are doing. You can ask anything and be given the truth. There is nothing to hide. There are no what if's, who's that, why or did you really not have an outlet to charge your phone?
It is simple. If you feel the need to always make excuses and continually over look every sign then from experience I suggest you take a look at yourself and why you are choosing to stay.
A true Gentlemen or lady does not spew off venom when wished well. They do not tell tales about whatever. They do not wish you ill.
They are above all that "high school" nonsense. I once asked someone; "Why do you lie"? "Because there are no consequences".
Good answer, well noted.
You have to be true to yourself. Not everyone behaves as such. There are some really honest, terrific people to meet. Take your time as it takes a long time to get to know someone.
Better to know now, then later. When you are caught into believing, hoping and caring for someone that is often giving you stories, it hurts like hell. You second guess everything. Time will heal that.