Invariably when I tell people what I do for a living they ask “what is a reading?”
It seems like a simple question and on the surface perhaps it is. However the confusion over what a reader is and isn’t as well as what a reading is and isn’t is quite massive. Given that everyone has their own way of defining their role as a reader as well as the readings themselves it is no wonder why so many people not only have no clue what we do but also those who come to us may have confusing or even flawed expectations.
It is with this in mind that I started to ask myself just what is a reader and what is a reading? What is it that I am supposed to provide and what expectations are sometimes placed on me that are perhaps unattainable if not completely impossible.
My good friend Ms. Lisa M who is also a reader and I began to discuss just what a reading is. She provided a wonderful explanation that a reading is a compass…it helps you to know where to go and in what direction to head for a particular outcome. I found this to be such a spot on account of what a reading provides. I like to also tell clients that readings are prediction for prevention or maintenance. You either want to use the information you have to prevent something or you wish to maintain that path in order to achieve the outcome detailed in the reading.
Each definition of a reading that Lisa and I typically adhere to sets a very clear boundary…readings are not the end all, be all. Next to nothing is written in stone and you will not find that a reading is going to provide you with a miracle or magic bullet.
All too often a client will come to me with the expectation that I should be able to provide him or her with absolutely every little minute detail to their relationship or lives. And while yes, I am extremely accurate and detailed, I am not a miracle worker. First, there are some things we are not meant to know. This doesn’t make your reader bad or inaccurate it just simply is something that you have to accept…despite your desire to know everything sometimes we have to allow things to organically evolve without knowing every precise detail. Secondly, I am, as previously stated, not God! Sometimes I do not see things. It happens, shoot me.
A reading should provide you with the necessary details so that you understand your situation better. It should help you to navigate the path ahead and the people involved. I will not go down an endless list of what he thinks and feels for you for the sake of boosting your ego. I will definitely cover what is felt if I see emotions but I will not start outlining ad nauseam how much he likes your hair color, how your giggle makes him both cringe and laugh or how that little thing you do with your tongue….you get the point. ;)
Readers and thus your reading, are not magic eight-balls. You cannot just shake me up while asking your question and POOF out I spit the answer. It just doesn’t work like that. Typically if your reader works with energy or is an empath it takes dialogue…discussion to get the energy flowing and thus allow them to pick up on what is happening. This shouldn’t mean that you go into a reading and suddenly the reader is asking more questions than you are but rather do not treat your reading or your reader like a preprogrammed machine. When I start my sessions I take the time to introduce myself, to get the clients name, to talk a bit about what is happening with them, how they are doing etc. This gets the energy flowing, emotions flowing and also allows for me to see and ensure that there is a connection worthy of the clients time and money. Unlike some I will definitely let the client know right off the bat if the connection isn’t there. Its simply my style as I am quite a perfectionist…if I cannot do the absolute best I have no interest in wasting anyone’s time, least of all my own. So when you come into a session and your reader asks “hi, how are you today” Don’t just spout off “FINE!” followed by your question. Courtesy and manners exist even in a client/reader relationship.
I have little interest in those who come to me asking how someone feels for them (especially if they just met this person and have barely been on a date yet) as emotion is energy, it cannot be quantified, but I digress. Mainly my interest is waning in those matters because my goal is to help people. Knowing how someone feels isn’t going to help YOU. It may appease you. It may comfort you. It may provide you with clarity and surely I wouldn’t rob you of that…but a reading is not just a Q&A. The reading should focus more on YOU than THEM. You can certainly get insight into where they are at, how they feel…what they will do but ultimately YOU need insight into how to handle them. You need to know what you are doing whether positive or negative and how its impacting the situation. A reading shouldn’t simply focus on them and what they are doing as that is only half of the equation and frankly it’s the weaker aspect. You cannot change THEM. You can, however, change yourself. As such your reading should focus on your lessons and what you should or can do per your desire goal.
A reading must also be empowering. This figures into the last paragraph as well because of the fact that my goal as your reader is always, ALWAYS to help YOU, not them. While I understand that the majority of readings tend to be about relationship, what they are feeling, when they will contact etc. my ultimate goal is to provide clients with the affirmation and empowerment they need to get through ANY situation. A reading should leave you feeling stronger, more empowered and capable of handling your situation even if you didn’t receive the news you hoped to. A reader is not always going to whisper sunshine and butterflies to you. Sometimes you will receive information or insight that is distressing or upsetting. That is a fact of life, not everything is meant to last forever and not everything is always as we hope it be…but your reading should leave you feeling capable of dealing with it. You should be provided with a sense of confidence and the ability to focus on YOU and not them or the situation as a whole so that you can come out of the situation a better and more whole individual.
A reading should help you understand….not be a schematic for exactly how to behave and what actions to take. I provide my clients with insight on what moves they should or could make and what will come of them…but I never CHOOSE for THEM. As a client you must choose for yourself. So many times clients will ask me “so should I just leave him then?” and I always shrug and say “that is up to you”. The reason is I am not involved in your situation. I am not in love with him/her and its not my life. I can provide you with the insight on what is ahead for you and what will come from a particular decision or action but in the end what path you take is something YOU must make yourself. You need to understand that you are in control, no matter how to the contrary it may seem. You are not at the whim of any other person or emotion or action. You needn’t wait for x, y, z to align to do what needs doing…you simply need to take the bull by the horns and make up your mind.
Now let me clarify something…sometimes clients will ask: what if I do this, and this and this and then this…how will he feel, what will he do etc. etc. A decision should be made based on a few things. First, and most importantly, how YOU feel about the decision and the outcome. Second should be how it will pan out. Is it going to result in something you desire. Third is how THEY will feel or react. Notice how this is the last one? Its because it should be the last thing you consider. I don’t mean to imply that you shouldn’t care about the feelings of others but the fact is that cannot be the basis for how you go through your life. You have to do what is best for YOU. You have to make decisions and choices which will result in the life you want for yourself…if you base everything mostly on how THEY will feel or how THEY will respond then 1) you clearly are making the decision simply to elicit a particular reaction from them and 2) you are not ready to make a decision until you know what YOU want.
A reading is meant to be followed. Otherwise why are you spending your hard earned cash? A reading should help to provide you with advice and techniques for dealing with your situation and the people in it. It should also provide insight into how you can handle yourself…some things for you to do to help bring about that which is for your highest good. If you take all that in and then hang up the phone or leave the room and completely do the opposite of everything your reader just explained to you then not only are you wasting your money but clearly you have no interest in getting to a better place. If I tell you “Ok this is what is showing and here is what you need to do to avoid it” and then you proceed to do exactly what I tell you NOT to do then do not come to me shocked and upset by what happens next. I will not hesitate to remind you that you were forewarned and as they say to be foretold is to be forewarned.
I understand that you may disagree with your reader, and that is your choice. One should never completely follow another’s advice with out forethought. You should, however, have trust in the person who is providing you with a reading given that they are counseling and advising you on some very personal and often important matters. This is why to me trust is the most important things in my relationship with clients. I have to trust you and you have to trust me.
Readings can be excellent tools for mapping out your next bold move. They shouldn’t ever be the entire foundation for those decisions. Your reader is a flesh and blood human being just like you and if they are genuine their desire, ultimately and solely, is to help you along your path. Using the insight you receive to your benefit is an awesome way to make sure you are living consciously and not just floating by. Knowing what a reading is and is not is essential to the entire process. When you have a good idea of what a reading is meant to provide and not provide it helps you pick a reader who is going to help you, who is right for YOU. Running around from reader to reader with no real plan or care is likely going to only result in conflicting answers, skewed energy and one very empty pocketbook.
As a reader my goal is making sure every client knows what is before them and an understanding of what they can do about it. It is my hope that every client leaves a session with me understanding their situation, feeling better about their situation and feeling better about themselves. To me, if I have done this, than it’s a job well done.![]()
It seems like a simple question and on the surface perhaps it is. However the confusion over what a reader is and isn’t as well as what a reading is and isn’t is quite massive. Given that everyone has their own way of defining their role as a reader as well as the readings themselves it is no wonder why so many people not only have no clue what we do but also those who come to us may have confusing or even flawed expectations.
It is with this in mind that I started to ask myself just what is a reader and what is a reading? What is it that I am supposed to provide and what expectations are sometimes placed on me that are perhaps unattainable if not completely impossible.
My good friend Ms. Lisa M who is also a reader and I began to discuss just what a reading is. She provided a wonderful explanation that a reading is a compass…it helps you to know where to go and in what direction to head for a particular outcome. I found this to be such a spot on account of what a reading provides. I like to also tell clients that readings are prediction for prevention or maintenance. You either want to use the information you have to prevent something or you wish to maintain that path in order to achieve the outcome detailed in the reading.
Each definition of a reading that Lisa and I typically adhere to sets a very clear boundary…readings are not the end all, be all. Next to nothing is written in stone and you will not find that a reading is going to provide you with a miracle or magic bullet.
All too often a client will come to me with the expectation that I should be able to provide him or her with absolutely every little minute detail to their relationship or lives. And while yes, I am extremely accurate and detailed, I am not a miracle worker. First, there are some things we are not meant to know. This doesn’t make your reader bad or inaccurate it just simply is something that you have to accept…despite your desire to know everything sometimes we have to allow things to organically evolve without knowing every precise detail. Secondly, I am, as previously stated, not God! Sometimes I do not see things. It happens, shoot me.
A reading should provide you with the necessary details so that you understand your situation better. It should help you to navigate the path ahead and the people involved. I will not go down an endless list of what he thinks and feels for you for the sake of boosting your ego. I will definitely cover what is felt if I see emotions but I will not start outlining ad nauseam how much he likes your hair color, how your giggle makes him both cringe and laugh or how that little thing you do with your tongue….you get the point. ;)
Readers and thus your reading, are not magic eight-balls. You cannot just shake me up while asking your question and POOF out I spit the answer. It just doesn’t work like that. Typically if your reader works with energy or is an empath it takes dialogue…discussion to get the energy flowing and thus allow them to pick up on what is happening. This shouldn’t mean that you go into a reading and suddenly the reader is asking more questions than you are but rather do not treat your reading or your reader like a preprogrammed machine. When I start my sessions I take the time to introduce myself, to get the clients name, to talk a bit about what is happening with them, how they are doing etc. This gets the energy flowing, emotions flowing and also allows for me to see and ensure that there is a connection worthy of the clients time and money. Unlike some I will definitely let the client know right off the bat if the connection isn’t there. Its simply my style as I am quite a perfectionist…if I cannot do the absolute best I have no interest in wasting anyone’s time, least of all my own. So when you come into a session and your reader asks “hi, how are you today” Don’t just spout off “FINE!” followed by your question. Courtesy and manners exist even in a client/reader relationship.
I have little interest in those who come to me asking how someone feels for them (especially if they just met this person and have barely been on a date yet) as emotion is energy, it cannot be quantified, but I digress. Mainly my interest is waning in those matters because my goal is to help people. Knowing how someone feels isn’t going to help YOU. It may appease you. It may comfort you. It may provide you with clarity and surely I wouldn’t rob you of that…but a reading is not just a Q&A. The reading should focus more on YOU than THEM. You can certainly get insight into where they are at, how they feel…what they will do but ultimately YOU need insight into how to handle them. You need to know what you are doing whether positive or negative and how its impacting the situation. A reading shouldn’t simply focus on them and what they are doing as that is only half of the equation and frankly it’s the weaker aspect. You cannot change THEM. You can, however, change yourself. As such your reading should focus on your lessons and what you should or can do per your desire goal.
A reading must also be empowering. This figures into the last paragraph as well because of the fact that my goal as your reader is always, ALWAYS to help YOU, not them. While I understand that the majority of readings tend to be about relationship, what they are feeling, when they will contact etc. my ultimate goal is to provide clients with the affirmation and empowerment they need to get through ANY situation. A reading should leave you feeling stronger, more empowered and capable of handling your situation even if you didn’t receive the news you hoped to. A reader is not always going to whisper sunshine and butterflies to you. Sometimes you will receive information or insight that is distressing or upsetting. That is a fact of life, not everything is meant to last forever and not everything is always as we hope it be…but your reading should leave you feeling capable of dealing with it. You should be provided with a sense of confidence and the ability to focus on YOU and not them or the situation as a whole so that you can come out of the situation a better and more whole individual.
A reading should help you understand….not be a schematic for exactly how to behave and what actions to take. I provide my clients with insight on what moves they should or could make and what will come of them…but I never CHOOSE for THEM. As a client you must choose for yourself. So many times clients will ask me “so should I just leave him then?” and I always shrug and say “that is up to you”. The reason is I am not involved in your situation. I am not in love with him/her and its not my life. I can provide you with the insight on what is ahead for you and what will come from a particular decision or action but in the end what path you take is something YOU must make yourself. You need to understand that you are in control, no matter how to the contrary it may seem. You are not at the whim of any other person or emotion or action. You needn’t wait for x, y, z to align to do what needs doing…you simply need to take the bull by the horns and make up your mind.
Now let me clarify something…sometimes clients will ask: what if I do this, and this and this and then this…how will he feel, what will he do etc. etc. A decision should be made based on a few things. First, and most importantly, how YOU feel about the decision and the outcome. Second should be how it will pan out. Is it going to result in something you desire. Third is how THEY will feel or react. Notice how this is the last one? Its because it should be the last thing you consider. I don’t mean to imply that you shouldn’t care about the feelings of others but the fact is that cannot be the basis for how you go through your life. You have to do what is best for YOU. You have to make decisions and choices which will result in the life you want for yourself…if you base everything mostly on how THEY will feel or how THEY will respond then 1) you clearly are making the decision simply to elicit a particular reaction from them and 2) you are not ready to make a decision until you know what YOU want.
A reading is meant to be followed. Otherwise why are you spending your hard earned cash? A reading should help to provide you with advice and techniques for dealing with your situation and the people in it. It should also provide insight into how you can handle yourself…some things for you to do to help bring about that which is for your highest good. If you take all that in and then hang up the phone or leave the room and completely do the opposite of everything your reader just explained to you then not only are you wasting your money but clearly you have no interest in getting to a better place. If I tell you “Ok this is what is showing and here is what you need to do to avoid it” and then you proceed to do exactly what I tell you NOT to do then do not come to me shocked and upset by what happens next. I will not hesitate to remind you that you were forewarned and as they say to be foretold is to be forewarned.
I understand that you may disagree with your reader, and that is your choice. One should never completely follow another’s advice with out forethought. You should, however, have trust in the person who is providing you with a reading given that they are counseling and advising you on some very personal and often important matters. This is why to me trust is the most important things in my relationship with clients. I have to trust you and you have to trust me.
Readings can be excellent tools for mapping out your next bold move. They shouldn’t ever be the entire foundation for those decisions. Your reader is a flesh and blood human being just like you and if they are genuine their desire, ultimately and solely, is to help you along your path. Using the insight you receive to your benefit is an awesome way to make sure you are living consciously and not just floating by. Knowing what a reading is and is not is essential to the entire process. When you have a good idea of what a reading is meant to provide and not provide it helps you pick a reader who is going to help you, who is right for YOU. Running around from reader to reader with no real plan or care is likely going to only result in conflicting answers, skewed energy and one very empty pocketbook.
As a reader my goal is making sure every client knows what is before them and an understanding of what they can do about it. It is my hope that every client leaves a session with me understanding their situation, feeling better about their situation and feeling better about themselves. To me, if I have done this, than it’s a job well done.