She set her coffee cup down and looked me straight in the eye, “I’m just DONE with men.”
“Ok”, I said, waiting for more…..
“They confuse the daylights out of me. One minute they are all over me, then they disappear - *poof* - vanish into oblivion.”
“hmm.” Knowing full well she wasn’t going to appreciate the advice I was about to give, I decided to let her rant a bit more. Man bashing can be fun….
“Like just the other night I met this wonderful guy and we had a fabulous time, simply fabulous!” “We laughed and had soooo many things in common! I haven’t heard from him since, and he has my phone number, too!”
“mmm”. “Did all this laughing and discovery process take place under the influence of alcohol?” I asked, sorta hiding behind my cup of coffee….
“Well… we did have a few drinks. And when he left in the morning he said he’d call… that was 3 weeks ago.”
And BINGO – there it was out in the open. She is man bashing because most ALL of the men she ‘dates’ she sees one time, and they leave in the morning.
Truth be told, I wouldn’t think I’d need to give a “cookie jar” lecture to a 45 year old woman, but I was going to have to, simply because she either is so desperate for sexual encounters and doesn’t care, or simply so dense she doesn’t get it. I happen to know, however; she wants a long-term relationship…..which simply cannot be accomplished with short-term encounters.
“Dear. Listen. You need to hold onto the cookie jar a while until you are COMFORTABLE with a man….”
(insert astonished look) “What in the hell is a ‘cookie jar’???”
“To be blunt, then, you cannot sleep with every single man you’re attracted to. Not only is it unhealthy, but it diminishes your self-esteem and makes you think ALL men want just one thing. IF you OFFER only one thing – he will take it, but you won’t see him again…”
“Basically, what I’m saying is show some self-respect. Ask yourself if they are cookie jar worthy”. “Chances are, once the buzz from a martini wears off you’ll wonder what in the world you were doing!”
She sighed. “I suppose you’re right, but Samantha got away with it.”
“Hon, this is real life, and Sex and the City was a created television program, and Samantha didn’t really get away with it….”
Moral of blog: Self-respect works both ways; it is meant for all of us. Be selective. Be honest with yourself. Be respectful to yourself. Anything worth having is worth waiting for, right?