There is nothing more painful than having the rug pulled out from under you. One moment you are together, seemingly happy, envisioning a future that includes marriage and kids and the next thing you know you are in the fetal position on the bathroom floor sobbing profusely and completely scared and disillusioned.
You have no real idea how to cope, no idea why this happened and only know that you feel scared, alone and heartbroken. You end up laying there repeating over and over "How could this be?"
The answer to this question is never as straight forward as we might hope. When in the throws of heartbreak all we can think about is an answer, an explanation...some way of understanding. The truth is its different for every situation.
Sometimes there are signs. Sometimes while we are turning the cheek our partner/boyfriend/husbands are secretly miserable. Sometimes they are ready to claw their eyes out in order to end things.
Sometimes we willfully ignore the signs. We may want a relationship so badly that we refuse to see the forest through the trees. We may hope that things will change and that perhaps they will suddenly become happy.
Sometimes, however, there are no signs. Sometimes things are going along just fine, happily, even and suddenly they are not.
The fact is there is no way to prepare yourself for someone you love leaving you. Even if you come to me Thursday and I see a break up for the following Monday come Monday you are still going to feel stabbed in the heart. You will still feel like you are standing on the ledge. I wish that we could all navigate life painlessly but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? I say this while ducking as I know many of my clients (and my past self as well!) are throwing things at their computer right now....but as hard as it is to accept that statement is truth.
Though we may not like how things turned out every relationship teaches us important lessons. Even if its just a lesson in what we know we DON'T want it was an experience worth going through. We become stronger as we evolve and get through the pain. We come out on the other side brand new people, ready for all of life's great heartbreaks and pleasures.