Some time ago I wrote an article that focused in on a epidemic that I called ‘Psychic Surfing’. I coined this term as a means of conveying the phenomenon that occurs when, in our most emotionally frenetic state, we search high and low for insight into our situation.I wanted to touch on this subject again as it was one of the more popular posts that brought forth a wide variety of comments, both positive and negative. Like any subject it’s a constantly evolving understanding of the terms and conditions and something which I believe warrants a deeper look.
Why is ‘Psychic Surfing’ something worth covering at length or even thinking about at all? To put it simply it’s symptomatic of an addiction and on the part of the expert, enabling of said addiction. Typically someone will surf from one reader to the next when they are in the midst of some form of heartbreak. Perhaps their lover cheated on them, went MIA (see my article on back and forth lovers to learn more about this) or broke off the relationship. Whatever the cause the emotional turmoil is very real and there is a deep and sometimes incapable to ignore, need for information.
Often times we tell ourselves it’s a desire to understand or to obtain closure but the truth is often we are looking for as many people as we can find who will tell us what we want to hear-what we want to believe. Most readers of positive repute will not condone the near hourly or daily readings; but then again most of these readers will not feed upon a client’s emotional turmoil to boost their bottom line.As readers we are always there to empower, to help guide and there is a certain level of coaching that comes when what is ahead has already been discussed and a client still needs empowerment. There is a fine line, however, between providing empowerment and reinforcing toxic patterns.
Running from reader to reader ends up becoming, as previously mentioned, an addiction. There is a need to feel hopeful by the information provided but its fleeting. Its fleeting because in most cases our own internal sh%t detector is going off, telling us that something is not right about this situation. Yet again and again we try to quiet that internal voice and instead choose to buy into the egos need for validation.
There is no real way to totally eradicate the emotional highs and lows that come with heart-break. Whether we are trying to bury our sorrows in an entire gallon of ice cream or become addicted to readings we each have our methods of dealing with pain. Ultimately it’s not so much the clients fault as it is the readers who prey upon them. It’s our jobs to be honest, to empower and to take the high rode by not compromising ourselves even if that means taking a hit in the ratings.
For clients- my suggestion is to remember that there is no amount of information that will satisfy the urge. I had a client just the other day who emailed to thank me for being honest with her despite that at the time of her reading she vehemently argued with everything I said. Sure enough nearly a month later she was honest with me that what I said would happen, or not happen, was in fact the only prediction that came to pass after having dozens of readings that not only left her emotionally drained but financially barren. I appreciated her email but it lit within the fire that burns when I hear of clients who have been taken advantage of.
I encourage clients to find a select group of advisors that are chosen not just because they are willing to sugar coat or partake in the culture of fantasy we find so often in this field but because they are willing to say the uncomfortable. Watch whether what they say comes to pass, or if when it doesn’t they have yet another excuse or reason for why. None of us are perfect or infallible, however, an authentic reader will most definitely be more right than they will wrong. They will also be the first to suggest if a reading is not quite what you need.
If you are in the midst of an emotional situation as difficult as it may be understand, an emotional situation is only going to get worse if you bury yourself in debt trying in vain to get every readers opinion on what is ahead. Understand that sometimes bad things fall apart so that better things can be built in their place. We may not see it right in the moment but sometimes allowing things to organically evolve and reveal themselves is the best option. Not just for our pocket book but for our sanity.