Looking across the Ocean for Enduring love.......
Heterosexual participants without children are more positive about and happier with the
Heterosexual participants without children are more positive about and happier with the
quality of their relationship, relationship with their partner and their relationship
maintenance than heterosexual participants with children.
Parents appear to engage in less relationship maintenance than childless
participants. Heterosexual parents also scored lower than non-heterosexual
parents on this measure. Heterosexual parents are the group least likely to be
there for each other, to make ‘couple time’, to pursue shared interests, to say ‘I
love you’ and to talk openly to one another.
Fathers are less positive than childless men about the quality of their relationship
, relationship with partner and relationship maintenance. Fathers are also less happy with their relationship/partner but as happy as childlessmen about life overa
Mothers are more negative about relationship quality, relationship with partner,
relationship maintenance, happiness with relationship/partner than childless
women. However, mothers are significantly happier with life than any other
group.
.2.2 Sexual intimacy
Fathers are over twice more likely than mothers to include different needs or expectations around sexual intimacy in the things they like least about their relationship. Mothers report that they want to have sex less often than their partners do, but dissatisfaction with sexual frequency per se does not appear to undermine overall relationship satisfaction for either mothers or fathers.
2.3 Stressors in relationships
Relationship satisfaction is positively linked with the number of stressors that participants have experienced in the previous two years. This is the case for both parents and childless participants. This supports the thesis that couples might be pulling together in difficult times.
2.4 Who is the most important person in the participant’s life?
Mothers are almost twice more likely than fathers to say that their child/ren are the most important person in their life. Fathers are much more likely thanmothers to regard their partners as the most important person.
2.5 Support and advice seeking
Women and men both indicated that they would use couple counselling as a source for support, help or advice before individual counselling. However men suggested that they were generally disinclined to consult anyone, while women indicated that they would consider turning to both couple counselling and individual counselling.
3.1 What makes participants feel most appreciated?
Saying ‘thank you’ and thoughtful gestures were prized most highly by all
participants. Recognition of the time and effort required to complete the
everyday mundane tasks which underpin relationships and the smooth runningf a household, was also highly valued.The need for good communication was identified as important by all participants.
Open conversations were valued as a means to both ‘touch base’ with one another and unburden the stresses and strains of the day.Surprise gifts and small acts of kindness were valued highly
, with ‘a cup of tea’
.2.2 Sexual intimacy
Fathers are over twice more likely than mothers to include different needs or expectations around sexual intimacy in the things they like least about their relationship. Mothers report that they want to have sex less often than their partners do, but dissatisfaction with sexual frequency per se does not appear to undermine overall relationship satisfaction for either mothers or fathers.
2.3 Stressors in relationships
Relationship satisfaction is positively linked with the number of stressors that participants have experienced in the previous two years. This is the case for both parents and childless participants. This supports the thesis that couples might be pulling together in difficult times.
2.4 Who is the most important person in the participant’s life?
Mothers are almost twice more likely than fathers to say that their child/ren are the most important person in their life. Fathers are much more likely thanmothers to regard their partners as the most important person.
2.5 Support and advice seeking
Women and men both indicated that they would use couple counselling as a source for support, help or advice before individual counselling. However men suggested that they were generally disinclined to consult anyone, while women indicated that they would consider turning to both couple counselling and individual counselling.
3.1 What makes participants feel most appreciated?
Saying ‘thank you’ and thoughtful gestures were prized most highly by all
participants. Recognition of the time and effort required to complete the
everyday mundane tasks which underpin relationships and the smooth runningf a household, was also highly valued.The need for good communication was identified as important by all participants.
Open conversations were valued as a means to both ‘touch base’ with one another and unburden the stresses and strains of the day.Surprise gifts and small acts of kindness were valued highly
, with ‘a cup of tea’
being singled out as a significant sign of their partner’s appreciation. Bouquets
of flowers and boxes of chocolates were seen as less important than the
thoughtfulness behind the gesture.
Sharing the practicalities of household chores and/or family responsibilities
was viewed by mothers as something that particularly demonstrated
appreciation. All participants valued the time and energy devoted to cooking.
Saying or showing love featured for all participants. Saying ‘I love you’
appeared to symbolise the closeness of the couple relationship and provide
individual affirmation and reassurance.
Economic and Social Research Council (ESRC RES-062-23-3056)(2011
Economic and Social Research Council (ESRC RES-062-23-3056)(2011
-2013) Enduring Love GREAT BRITAIN