Nearly 85-90% of those situations I
read deal with love. Whether its a lost love, a current love, or
questions on when love will be found its a rather central theme to each
reading. Typically one of the questions I hear most is "Does he love
me?". The answer to this question is never as black and white as one
would wish. There are many different forms of love and a basic
understanding of what love is and isnt is necessary. As is evident in
the title of this post its important to understand the difference
between a conditional love and an unconditional love. We will delve into
this topic and also the ways in which energy and empathic readers such
as myself tell the difference between a love with condition and one
without.
Contrary to popular belief love
is not an emotion, it is an energy. There is no gauge for measuring this
energy, it can only be described. Thus its impossible to answer those
who ask "How much does he love me?".
Love
is a connection between two people. Whether this person reciprocates
your love or not is irrelevant, the fact that you have this energy for
them links them to you in one way or another.
There are many forms of love and
we have all experienced most if not all of them throughout our
lifetime. The love that we feel for our family is quite different from
that which we feel for our friends and what we feel for our friends is
no doubt different than that which we feel for our children, ex-lovers,
current lovers, coworkers and acquaintances. Each of the energies you
feel for these people are different forms of love. In my readings I
typically distinguish these forms of love into three different
categories: Platonic Love, Romantic Love and Familial Love.
The purpose of love is quite
simple; its to create authentic bonds. Authenticity implies genuine
connection. It implies that we are there just as much for their benefit
as we are our own. You should create room for there to be ample growth
and support for our lovers growth and fulfillment just as they should be
helping to support and cultivate our own.
When I read someone in a love
related question, in particular those centered on another person or
relationship I read the energies and the colors of those energies around
the people in question. Many in my readings have heard me speak of the
energy of passion, emotions, intellectual connection, affection,
communication (a key issue) the mutual goals of the two people involved
and also the energy of karmic/spiritual connection. When one of these is
out of alignment this shows me where the imbalance is occurring. If all
of these energies are lighted to their fullest potential this indicates
a very healthy and unconditional love.
When
two people are in perfect balance with the above mentioned energies
then they begin to radiate together a higher love and one which not only
radiates between them but also spills over into the world around them.
Its often times very easy to notice those who have this bond. They are
the couple that no matter how irritating it may be to see you feel
better, more hopeful and optimistic about love and life by simply being
in their presence.
As mentioned when two people are
balanced in the previously mentioned energies that qualifies as an
unconditional love. Its a love that doesnt allow obstacles, large or
small to stand in its way. Like parents who unconditionally love their
children even when their children have disappointed them, unconditional
love knows no bounds. It endures and persists no matter what happens.
Its an "inspired" love as it makes you feel good and capable of anything
and likewise does the same for your partner.
Unconditional
love doesn't mean that its pain or obstacle free, rather quite the
contrary there may be many obstacles. An unconditional love, however,
has the power and the impact to withstand that obstacle and to keep on
going. Those in an unconditional love feel the security that comes from
knowing that this person has your back ALWAYS...not just when it may be
convenient for them.
Conditional love is another form
of love. This love, however, is not a very balanced love. This is often
a love created around a set of bargains. To get "B" you must give "A".
Those involved with someone who only conditionally loves them understand
that even when you give "A" you very seldom get "B". Its said that
conditional love doesn't create a bond like that which is found in
unconditional love rather it creates a pact or a contract. If you fail
to give them what they require then their "love" is no longer available
to you. You often times are punished if you fail to give them what they
want. They will go MIA, threaten to leave you, throw other people in
your face, etc. Theirs is a love which is based on convenience. If its
not convenient to love you in that particular moment, if it happens to
interfere with something else they want, then that "love" goes out the
window.
Clearly there is a wealth of
difference between conditional and unconditional love. Both are
considered love but clearly one is more healthy than the other.
Conditional love doesn't ask for anything in return. Its not filled with
stipulation after stipulation.
If you're involved with someone
who loves with condition that doesn't mean you should suddenly develop
conditions of your own. We are all here to be loved and each day you
have to ask yourself whether you are loved and loving without condition.
Are you going to accept conditional love from another or will you
recognize that you are worth more and deserve more? Practice forgiveness
for the person who loves you with condition. When they are surrounded
by someone who loves without condition and meets all their needs they
can become lazy and rather complacent. They find little motivation to
love unconditionally because they are already receiving that
unconditional love without having to change how they respect and treat
their partner. You cannot change how they view things, you cannot make
them love you unconditionally, all you can do is see that they dont love
you unconditionally, forgive them and behave in a manner that shows you
know you deserve someone with out those conditions.
Many times I am asked "How can I change the way things are going?".
Sometimes there are ways in which you can change your response to things
to promote change on an overall level, other times there are not. In
cases where someone loves with conditions its important to understand
that you cannot change that. There are deep seeded issues there wherein
they only love in so far as it benefits them. Chances are this habit or
issue stretches back to their childhood, even their past lives. Its an
issue that they alone MUST work on and until they do you cannot help
them.
You can choose, however, to be
loved without condition. You can love yourself without condition just as
you loved them without condition. When we love ourselves fully and
completely we attract more of the same. Of course staying in a self
destructive and unhealthy relationship is NOT loving yourself fully but
that is a path you can change if you truly want to. Remember that
nothing is set in stone and you have the power to attract into your life
the exact love that you want. When you receive love that is as
unconditional as what you feel for them you will look back upon past
experiences as learning curves, designed to prepare you for and guide
you to receive unconditional love.