Emotional distance can be one of the most problematic aspects of togetherness in a partnership. It can be hard not to take emotional distance personally.
While at the same time, distance as a concept can lead to: intellectual, physical, geographical, and even spiritual distancing.
Much of the time, a person will look at this variable and consider only the quality of the connection that exists between them and the other person. However, many
times the distance that really needs to be examined, is the distance that exists between your partner and themselves.
Some people have a better way of handling emotions (especially personal ones) than others. This will often reflect upon the level of emotional intimacy between
you and people that you align with.
A person that is communicative and open with their feelings, while not operating out of fear, will more times than not be willing to share with someone else just
exactly what it is that is causing them concern in an emotional way. Conversely, some people are taught to be "afraid" of their emotions, especially challenging
ones or negative ones. These people sometimes put considerable distance between you and themselves when emotions are reveled, beginning to be understood, or
especially challenged.
Thus, it can often be a futile effort to try and pull the energy of another person into your Universe, when they are at their most afraid. A detached approach
can sometimes be very enlightening to someone who is opposed to their own emotions. If this must occur, you want this to be seen of their own volition, and not
of your suggestion. This is because, when someone begins to feel that they are being challenged even within themselves, they will objectify the energy as enemy.
The curative approach in these situations is to let the person see that what what is challenging them is not you, but themselves. For it is very easy in such
a situation for the person that is alienated from themselves to detect that something is imbalanced. However, if you value the relationship and want it to
continue, you don't want them to see you as the challenge, but their own fear. Because in this moment, they will reflect upon which to deflect from.
When you operate out of love and not fear, you are not the enemy--fear is. When a person has little experience analyzing their own subset of emotions, sometimes
their natural state of deflection becomes a way to not deal with the core issue of their own fear, while castigating you as enemy.
If this energy metastasizes, it becomes not only their fear, but your own. This leads to a loss of identify in each individual as well as the relationship itself.
If not handled delicately, this chasing after their own fear, can become you chasing after their own fear through the lens of your own fear. All around, it
is a misalignment with personal destiny and karmic growth.
If you think of not only the moment in which these events occurs, but the infinite cosmic background upon which they play out, you can take comfort in knowing that
challenging is self-limiting in nature. This does not however mean that you cannot enlighten. It just means that enlightenment is your best course of action, as
opposed to coercion.
In time, the path of destiny of whom you love, will align perfectly with cosmic purpose to allow them to see that in gifting over the information, while also
accepting at the same time, leads to acceptance--the most endearing form of spiritual education.
Deep from the Desert,
Jared Mars
A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.
-- John Steinbeck