Texting for men is the best way to receive a rejection. If they ask and the other does not respond, then they usually move on. Read here how to stop that from the start! Oprah Winfrey guest authors, Greg and Amiirah Reutola answer questions: When does someone know they are really dating? How do you ask a man out...without really asking? How do you relax on a first date? Why do men not ask for a second date? Why does it seem like you attract losers? Does sex seal the deal? And do professional women really intimidate men?
HERE'S WHAT TO DO
- SO HERE'S WHAT YOU DO when you receive the text message that says, "Want to go out?
- ON THE WOMAN'S END TEXT BACK......"CALL ME FOR THE ANSWER"
- "Only two ways of communication should be accepted; Voice to Voice or Face to Face." says Amiirah.
- You are training the other how to treat you. Many of my clients speak on how they spend hours texting someone who "seems" interested but never actually asks for a person to person relationship, or after a first date, insists on endless texting and sexting without commitment.
Author Greg Behrendt says today's relationships have become "Text, text, sleepover, break up" and that Dating for straight, gay or otherwise has become unrecognizable. And the madness is everywhere!
"But does this mean you're really dating? Many women speed through the dating process to get clarity on the status of their relationships—lowering their standards along the way" author Amiira Ruotola says. She poses the question:
.
WHEN DOES A PERSON KNOW WHEN THEY ARE DATING?
- Is it when you are texting that are you dating?
- Is it when he asks you to come hang out when his friends are you dating?
- Or is it when he invites you to put things in his medicine cabinet you are dating?
Both authors admit there
seems to be no clarity to it and in the process of trying to figure it
all out it becomes easy to mess it up. With each failure brings more dating
insecurity. Once the insecurity sets in, people begin to lower their
standards and it doesn't matter what income, life style or religion they
are.. WHY? Because for many, its better to have something bad...then
nothing at all.
WOMEN LOWER THEIR STANDARDS BECAUSE "SOMETHING" IS BETTER THEN "NOTHING." AND IT ALL COMES DOWN TO SELF WORTH.
- It all
starts with ourselves being WHOLE
- "When you are at a point in life where you are happy and content...and you can lay down on your bed with your head on your pillow and know your OK WITH YOURSELF.....as soon as your there, someone will come along and ruin it with their love."
- And this is because when you are whole, and happy with your self....you are a babe magnet and desirable again.
HOW TO BE YOURSELF ON A FIRST DATE
- Authors Greg and Amiira point out that many
people get very nervous and awkward on first dates because they get
consumed with the thought that the other may potentially "be the one. "
- But if you let those thoughts over take you the dude will feel it, tear their napkin out of their shirt and go running down the road. SO LET THOSE THOUGHTS GO.
- Pretend that date is a dress rehearsal for another date. Think of the date as a potential new dinner friend rather then "the one."
- So
next time you go on a date pretend its dress rehearsal for the next
one.
WHEN DID WOMEN LOSE THEIR POWER?
- The general consensuses, author Greg says, is today's men can't figure out why women do
not realize how much power they really have and when that
changed.
- EXUDE MYSTERY, CONFIDENCE AND THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED.
- MEN WILL DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE, IF YOU LET THEM
- "THEY ARE DUDES AND THEY HAVE BETTER STUFF TO DO."
- "The psychology behind training your date how to treat you, {softly, kindly....but confidently.....," says this modern dating guide, "is that men actually think its kind of cool to make them work for what you want, and that they think they are going to get something at the end if they do."
- How long you make them work for this, is your choice.
- "Men like to win" says Greg, "and if your trying to tell them they're NOT WINNING, they will do what they can to win."
- SHOULD A WOMAN EVER ASK A MAN OUT? IF SHES LIKING A GUY AND HES NOT APPROACHING HER.....
- Author Amirah writes that she still feels its OK to be old fashioned...however...you can ask in other ways, such as:
- "OH
MY GOD I HAVE A 5 MINUTE WINDOW OF TIME OPEN IN THE TIME/SPACE
CONTINUUM.....AND IF YOU ASK ME OUT IN THAT 5 MINUTE OPEN WINDOW I'M
GOING TO SAY YES."
- This way you let the other know you are interested....But you have not done the asking. You have kept it light.
- And what if they still do not ask you out? You have given them the opportunity to take a hint.and if they don't....then you don't want to be with them anyway.
6 MYTHS ABOUT DATING
- myth #1} A MAN WOULD MAKE MY LIFE COMPLETE
IF SOMEBODY FEELS YOU NEED THEM TO COMPLETE THEIR LIFE THEY WILL RUN
FROM YOU AS FAST AS THEY CAN. NEVER SAY THE WORDS "YOU COMPLETE ME"
ONLY YOU CAN COMPLETE YOURSELF...WHICH IS WHAT MAKES YOU SEXY IN THE
FIRST PLACE.
- myth # 2 "I JUST CAN'T HOLD BACK - MEN DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT YOU, HEAR HOW MANY TIMES YOU'VE BEEN DUMPED, ABOUT YOUR X, OR HOW MANY KIDS YOU WANT TO HAVE, THAT YOU'RE ADD, OBSESSED WITH CATS OR THAT YOUR DAD DIED. If you're going too fast and too aggressive you're going to chase the guy away. Chill out. Let things progress naturally. And if they don't it was never meant to be. HOW MUCH INFO IS TOO MUCH?
- Myth # 3 - He SHOULDN'T CARE HOW I LOOK- We are not talking about beautiful, were talking about clean up, take some time to look pleasing on a first date, not drop in sweating after a work out.
- MYTH#4 - SEX WILL SEAL THE DEAL - quick sex means quick endings. Making a guy wait still means your not desperate and remember, guys like to win. If you just want a great time go for it and if you do not reconnect its ok. But Sex Changes Everything and waking up in bed in the middle of the night saying to your self "?now what do i do"...is an icky feeling.
- MYTH#5 - I ONLY ATTRACT LOSERS - You can't attract what you are not. There are 2 kinds of people. Watchers, attract losers. Doers, attract winners. Present yourself in the best way you know how, and you will attract a winner. Talk the talk, but don't walk the talk, .....you will attract losers. They pick this up. Expect, always, the same from the people you date that you would expect from your self. Your job is to say no to "fixer uppers" and the more you do this, eventualy the right one will show up. You will attract what you ARE.
- MYTH#6 -MEN CAN'T HANDLE MY SUCCESS. - If this is true you are around some weak assk men and you need to change the situation.
THE AUTHORS
Will sex on the first date keep a man's interest? Are men truly intimidated by success? Dating myth-busters and real-life husband-and-wife team Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola are breaking down the misconceptions that prevent single women everywhere from getting the love life they want.
Will sex on the first date keep a man's interest? Are men truly intimidated by success? Dating myth-busters and real-life husband-and-wife team Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola are breaking down the misconceptions that prevent single women everywhere from getting the love life they want.