We feel good when we have control over ourselves, respect from other people and high levels of self esteem.
Yet, most people go through life feeling inadequate and full of suffering.
The reason…
Because they go through life playing the roll of a victim.
Many people believe that others are better than them and as a result give them power over their lives and emotions, especially regarding figures of authority and people in high positions. For example doctors, government officials or people with money.
These same victim mentality people tend to blame others, institutions and governments for their situations and problems in life. They think everything happens to them and that others are at fault.
The problem with being a victim is that as long as you maintain this role you remain powerless.
Why? Because if others are at fault and we are a victim of our circumstances, then how can we possibly manage change in our lives?
The answer is that we must stop being victims.
The following are four mental shifts to adapt to begin moving towards becoming a more effective and powerful person.
1. Take Full Responsibility For Your Life:
The single most effective way to begin moving towards a more powerful you, is to start taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life and to stop blaming your current situation on things that happened in the past.
All situations are in the past, and there is nothing you can do to change them. They are what they are and they happened for a reason. Accept them and bring yourself to the present moment.
By accepting full responsibility, right now in this moment, you immediately step out of the victim roll and into a place of power. You create unlimited options and potential for your life.
2. Realize That You Are Entitled To Live The Life You Want.
Most people do not live how they want because they are worried about what other people think, or listen to people who tell them they can’t or shouldn’t.
It can be a hard cycle to break. And the reason this pattern of “giving people what they want” exists is because we most likely grew up with parents who withheld love if we didn’t do the things they way they wanted.
As a result, we may have ingrained feelings of inadequacy and guilt. You might feel that by not giving people what they want then they won’t like you, or maybe that your doing something wrong.
Because of this behavior we go through life as “people pleasers” trying to make everyone happy at our own expense.
But usually the opposite occurs. We come off as “needy” and “over trying” which turns people off.
The way to stop this cycle is to realize that you are entitled to live the way you want and that nobody has the right to tell you how to behave or act.
Outside of your spouse or partner, you do not have to please anyone.
3. Declare Your Independence
Realize that you have your own purpose and destiny to fulfill and that others do not have a right to interfere with that process. It’s your process and yours alone.
Make a commitment to pursue the things you really want, regardless of what other people think, and change the expectations you have for yourself in all areas of your life. From your personal health, to your financial situation to the type of person you want to be with.
It’s your decision. You are in charge and you are the master.
4. Develop A Code Of “Non Victim” Ethics For Yourself
Part of becoming a centered and powerful person, is taking the time to develop a set of core beliefs for yourself that keep you from slipping back into a victim mentality.
Here are a few examples I have developed for my own life:
- I am true to my own heart and live life according to what I believe is my path.
- As long as I am not hurting anyone, I will kindly dismiss people from my life who try to get in the way of my right to fulfill my dreams.
- I will live on the path that I feel is correct for me.
- I don’t need to convince or explain to anyone that what I am doing is right. I will simply do what I believe is right.
- I am who I am and I don’t have to please everybody.
- I am a person of power and integrity.
Developing a set of beliefs and mindset for yourself gives you a core and principles to live by. It’s your foundation for keeping your own center and not allowing others to pull you off of it.
Refusing to be a victim is the first step to giving yourself the power and control to create a happy and fulfilling life for yourself.