My husband ripped off my toenail.
Now, before we break out the pitchforks and torches, let me explain. We were getting into his car one evening and noticed a couple of items on the front seat. I moved one way to get out of his way. He moved another direction to grab the things off the seat, stepping off the curb and directly on to my big toe. When he felt something under his foot, he assumed it was a rock and he rolled his foot forward and took my toenail with him. What followed probably isn’t suitable for repeating, but I’ll paraphrase by saying it hurt...a lot!
Thankfully, it wasn’t broken, and miracle upon miracles, the toenail is growing back. It hasn’t been without it’s drawbacks though. The toe has been incredibly sensitive, needing special care, and let’s face it, I’m not exactly the most graceful person in the world, lol. The fear of someone stomping on it has made me about as jumpy as a long tailed cat in a rocking chair factory. Not to mention snappy as all get out.
But going through this has made me stop and think about a few things. Starting with all the things we damage because we’re just not paying attention, or are being careless. We get so caught up in the things we think we should be doing, or think we want, we don’t stop to see the warning signs that we’re about to go off a cliff (or in my case, a curb, but I digress). We assume we know what all is going on and as a result, tear things up that would have been fine had we just taken a moment to check on our surroundings. And after something is removed or damaged that wouldn’t have been if we weren’t so careless, well, that’s when the pain and the guilt set in.
Things are said, events forgotten, assumptions are made. As a result, feelings get hurt, relationships get damaged - or in extreme cases - destroyed. The carelessness that comes from familiarity can have far more repercussions than we realize. Too often, the little things (like leaving stuff on a seat or misunderstanding something that’s been said) can build up to an explosion of sorts (or a missing toenail).
On top of this, our first instinct when there’s a serious injury is to hunker down and make sure that can’t happen again. We avoid going out where people could potentially re-injure us. We avoid a clarifying discussion. We avoid new relationships.
We instinctively attempt to cushion ourselves from the hurt that’s available out in the world. Problem is, that’s not helpful either. In attempting to get a toenail to grow back, we cause problems for the skin surrounding it by keeping it covered. By avoiding painful decisions or conversations, resentment, fear and anger grow. By avoiding new relationships, we stunt our own growth.
Just like a toddler cutting their teeth, change can sometimes be incredibly painful. Which is why we avoid it at all costs. It doesn’t help to know that in the end, we’ll be better off for it. All we can focus on at the time is the never-ending pain!! We forget that if we do it right, the pain can be a catalyst, a force for necessary change, a way to pry us out of our rut, our comfort zone and propel us into a new area of our lives we may never have allowed ourselves to explore before.
My experience has made sure I can't do what I always do at this time of year. I can’t really hike or climb because, well, I have an open wound, lol. What’s occurred in place of those activities has opened up a whole new world to me. I’ve been focusing on the fine details of the things I look at everyday and take for granted. (Macro lenses are cool, lol). Any other time, I’d ignore these details I’m now marveling over.
I’m not going to say that losing my toenail has been a fabulousexperience, but I can say that I’m grateful something forced me to slow down and see the intricate details I was missing before. It’s made me far more aware of the other things in my life that were getting lost in the pace I, and others, have set. I think I can safely say that the other people I love in my life are grateful too (under all the guilt that is).
What are you missing in your life that could use an update or just be acknowledged? Has something been ripped away, causing pain, and forcing an acknowledgment of something that needed to change? What’s been missing, either in your life or your relationships because life has been too busy, too fast for you to look up and notice?