The first stab of pain and the following deep emotions from any type of defeat, be it love, career, sports, friendship, or anything else that you have put your heart and soul into can leave you so filled with anger, frustration, and disappointment that it is sometimes hard to imagine picking yourself up and going on. Instead of jumping into the deep end of despair, try taking a deep breath and ask yourself this one simple question: What can I learn from this?
Life experiences are opportunities to learn and grow. Even through the chaos and torment there will be things about yourself that you can be positive about. Can you applaud your calmness and centered attitude as you stood and watched your world fall down around your feet? Were you able to keep faith and believe that things will and can get better? Were you able to deliver the perfect response at just the right time? Once, after I completely embarrassed myself and acted out quite childishly, the only thing positive I could find was that my hair looked fabulous while I self-destructed. That’s all I had, and trust me, I held on to that! Search through your events and I hope you find that not everything was horrible, and even if it was, and maybe only your hair looked nice, then, hey, celebrate it!
Now, after you celebrate the positives and your emotions are little more manageable, the time comes to look at what you are not so proud of. Did you stay too long in a bad situation? Did you let opportunities to communicate pass by? Were you guilty of some things you might want to work on? Be honest with yourself, BUT at all costs, do not beat yourself up and blame yourself for things that were not yours to be responsible for. Take the time to look inward and identify anything about yourself that you may want to work on. I usually start by looking at my spirituality. Did I, and am I still, approaching the person/situation within the framework of my moral and belief system? Could I improve my communication? You get the idea…
There are those times that the lessons to be learned are complicated and hard to understand. If you are wondering why every boss out there hates you or why every man in the world is a liar and cheat, then it is time to stop and consider the possibility that the problem is not with everyone else. Do you wonder why every love affair you have been involved with is with a married man or someone that is totally uninterested? Could this be because you aren’t really ready to commit and this is how you avoid long term relationships? Is it a trust issue?
It goes without saying that we aren't always going to win and that we all must learn to lose sometimes. Don't stop at just leraning to lose, take learning a step further and take the chance to receive a life lesson that allows you to grow and change. Look inside and you may find that you keep repeating patterns because you have failed to grasp a lesson or you are denying a truth that is necessary for you to embrace before you can travel forward on your path. You will stay stuck on your path, continuously circling around the same theme, type of man, or making the same mistakes, until you acknowledge and learn the lessons you must to move on. The hardest part of all of this is when you have no earthly idea what the heck the lesson is that you just aren’t getting! Give me a call and we will figure it out!