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He's Just Not That Into You

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You know the now famous line that originated from HBO’s “Sex in the City” and how after hearing it the whole dating world came to make sense to Miranda. Well, she wasn’t the only one it made sense to. It really resonated with me and brought my whole dating life into perspective.

If your guy always/constantly puts his friends and his plans in front of you then he's just not that into you.

We all have had the crush that went on for months and sometimes even years without going anywhere no matter what we did or didn’t do. For a period of time we would comfort ourselves by saying that he just didn’t know we were alive. That’s probably a valid argument when from grammar school up to about 10th grade depending on the guy but after that, he knows and he’s not interested. If he wanted you for anything he’d ask for it. However, that’s just too hard and/or sad to face because we are awesome so how could he not be into us and furthermore, if we’re not busy liking him what are we going to do with our attentions? Been there, done that. Let’s just focus on ourselves and making them achingly dwell on the fact that they missed out on their chance with us because we are with someone else that not only knows we’re alive but loves that we are!

How about the guy that we actually are dating but acts like we are the last priority when they are not with us because he’s busy with work, friends, family or other commitments? Don’t fool yourself into thinking that there’s a future with this guy. Chances are very good that he’s never going to appreciate you for more than he does now, someone that’s willing to wait around until he has time for you. You deserve more than that. If he was really into you, you’d never question why he isn’t spending time with you because he’d be spending as much time as you wanted.

How about the guy that would prefer to be with another girl over you? The only thing that she has that you don’t is him. And frankly, it’s better that way. Someone that would choose someone else over you is not good enough. You should never be second choice. When you are, you never really have his heart. You always want to be his first choice. Then you’ll know he’s really into you.

Unless it is what you truly want and are not marriage minded don't settle for just living with him.  If you only want marriage then don't move in until you've both said, "I do."  Sure, it can be some kind of an indicator of successful cohabitation but it is not a guarantee.  If he doesn't know if he wants to marry you then he's not into you enough.  Playing house is just that, playing.  Marriage is real life.  Love yourself more than you love him.

Some of us have been brave enough to take on a friend with benefits.  Almost all women that do this are hoping that this "friendship" will turn into a full blown romantic, committed relationship.  The downside is that it seldom does.  Guys just don't look at it the same way as we do.  It's fun while the "benefits" are being enjoyed but once it's over and he hasn't called in the appropriate amount of time it's not so much fun.  We see the possibility of love coming out of this and he sees SEX!  If the only time he calls you results in getting nakey then he's just not that into you.

Guys use a different language with girls that they want to keep around in case they change their mind or are loosely dating.  It's called boyspeak.  If he's giving you some semblance of the truth or an outright lie then he's giving you boyspeak and that is biggest of indicators that he is just not that into you.  Boyspeak blog to follow.




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